Advice needed <BR>Should I buy my wife a Christmas present? Or not. <P>My wife left two weeks ago and is living with OM. I am operating plan B no contact she will be lonely over Christmas with only him, away from family and kids for first time in small studio flat. Present could be delivered via third party “or kids” before Christmas day.<P>This might show I still care and put deposits in her love bank for me.<P>Or would it be better not to give her a present in line with no contact i.e. give message you are on your own.<P><BR>Your <P>Tadpole<BR>

Maybe get her a present, but don't give it to her until you have some hope she will return or she does return. More contact will only likely prolong your ordeal. My thoughts for what their worth.

TFJ,<P>I'm not in <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A> yet...<P>Since I'm in a long-distance <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A> I did get my W 2 gifts... <BR><B>First</B> a Lladró bell...<BR>She's been collecting them every since the series started.<BR>Christmas gifts from me...every year...<BR>I can't actually give to her... she will just smash it on the ground... <BR>It will just stay here for her... in a place made safe for her <BR>I'll let her know about it!<BR><B>Second</B> an inexpensive music box.. her favorite kind of gift...<BR>This I will send with the kids.<BR>I know this too will be smashed... oh well.<P>But thinking if I were in <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A>... maybe just a card... a reminder that your love isn't dead (like in <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan B</A> letter)... just in a dormant state. <B>No Contact means No Contact</B>... but Christmas has to take on some special meaning... ... if it does for your spouse.<P>I hope that by next Christmas I won't have to make that decision.<P>Let us know what you decided...<P>Jim<BR>---------------------------------<BR>Where two or more are gathered...<p>[This message has been edited by NSR (edited December 12, 1999).]

Hi TFJ,<P>I'm going to get Val a piece of jewelry that has "I love you" on it because I still do love her. I certainly do not like the circumstances that I am in but I was also a partner in the destruction of the marriage.<P>I was in Plan B for probably a few hours. I just can't do it. When I see her name come up on the caller ID I turn to jelly.<P>This very well might be the last gift she receives from me, and maybe not. I believe Christmas is an exception to Plan B as long as you don't go overboard and get her a Dodge Viper or something really expensive.<P>Show her you still care and love her. I feel very bad for Jim because of the pictures in his head that he forsees about W destroying gifts. Add insult to injury. I only hope that he is wrong and she will stop and think what she is giving up.<P>That's my take on it.<BR><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>