we have been through counseling and psychiatrists to help. we've been on medication, too. what happens is, we will get along fine for a few days to a week, and i will discover something and bring it to her attention and she loses it. she feels like i am watching evreything she does. but after the things we recently went through, it's hard to not worry and wonder. she blames me for bringing it up, yet i still have proof that she's still lying. she says, "show me some proof if you have any" and if i do, it will split us up because it looks like i am trying to watch her and treat her like a kid. i feel like, if there is nothing going on, she should be fine with me investigating. but she's not...and i get the blame for the fight. it's like she's saying that she can be sneaky and its ok. if i check up on her, then i am being sneaky and it's NOT ok. i can't keep living my life like this. i am tired of the worrying and looking over my shoulder all the time. but by the same token, i would give my right arm for her, i really love her and want it to work! and i don't want to lose her. she's been with me for almost half of my life. we have three kids and they don't need this. her only influence is her family and none of them have any morals. they have all cheated at one time or another, some have several kids out of wedlock, by different daddies. they got pregnant at 15 and 16 and their mother acts like it's no big deal. theres been rapes, molestations and no one ever done anything. ive seen her sisters bring their boyfriends to their mother's while their husbands were at home...and their mother condoned it. gave them her blessing pretty much. but i still love my wife and i wish she would see that. and get away from that crazy bunch that's influencing her. i don't know what to do. and i wouldn't know what to do if she left. i don't know how to start over. i don't know how to deal with the pain and rejection. i have no earthly idea. nothing anyone says comforts me. all that people can do is wish me well. its sad, and painful, but i am trying not to show it to her anymore because it makes her mad and we end up fighting. but i am still investigating...but now, i am holding it all in. i have taped conversations between her and her sister, i have documents from emails, chat rooms, i have managed to crack her "friends" passwords to his email. (by the way, he's seeing lots of other women...that are married, too), etc. i have so much proof that she is continuously lying but i am not going to reveal it until the right time comes.