My H had a PA with my ex best friend. He continued to lie about it for a looooong time. I finally found out the truth a month ago. I told him I will NEVER sleep with him again if he isn't tested. I also told him to make sure the doctor tests him for ALL stds. Well, he went today and the dr. told him that he would test him for HIV with a blood test. But that the other diseases would require a more painful sample to be taken (like I would care about him being in physical pain after what I'm going through!) and it sounds like he tried to talk him out of it. I am furious. It's been a hard day anyway but that just really made me angry. <P>My H actually had the nerve to sound like "woe is me, it hurt" kind of thing. I'm not at all a mean person but inside I felt like saying "Do you really think I care!" And I couldn't believe what he had to go through so that I could see the results. It's MY life too being affected by this threat of disease. I have to make an appointment to see the results. Isn't that a bit much? I guess I see now why these diseases spread so fast. They're a well kept secret by the betrayers and the medical field.<P>Yes, I sound bitter. Most days I don't. I am very resentful that I have to go through this at all. My dr. felt last year that I had had pelvic inflammatory disease when I had a miscarriage and he looked at my insides. They are all scarred which causes me intense pain on a very regular basis. But I denied any possibility that I could have had an std, being the trusting person that I am. I learned that I can't trust my friend or my husband to be honest, they needed to protect themselves and their fantasy land.<P>I hope none of you have to go through this. I was surprised the dr. didn't suggest that I be tested. He acted like it was a bother to even test my H.<P>maggierose

maggierose,<BR>You DO need to be tested too. Not just with the blood tests but with a physical (pap). There are std's that can be passed to you without showing up on H's tests and can not be detected without a pap. Please check with your doctor. AND be totally honest with your doctor. Voice your concerns. Don't be embarassed. They have heard it all and your health is more important.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by maggierose:<BR><B>But that the other diseases would require a more painful sample to be taken </B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>I'm a guy who got those tests about 2 weeks after d-day.<BR>The "procedure" consists of stuffing a Q-tip into the<BR>urethrea (penis) about an inch. Takes all of 5 seconds.<P>It's not painful, or at least no more than squeezing a big<BR>zit (ugh) or something. Certainly less than, say, an<BR>ANTIBIOTIC injection (which he may need).<P>If your husband is whining about this, he's FOS. Of course,<BR>that's just my opinion, but I'm sticking to it ;-))))<P>Bob<P>

Yes, I will get tested too. But since I go to the same dr., I'll probably have to convince him like my H did. Weird.<P>Yes, he did complain about pain. I told him if that's his only consequence after the cheating and lying, he's off pretty easy.<P>Just one more thing to deal with. Sometimes it seems never ending! Thanks for your input.

Maggie,<BR> Why are you going to this DR. when you werent pleased with him? You need to go to an OB/GYN they probably wont bat an eye when you tell them what you need.<BR>I understand your anger, I had fantasy's of shoving sharp pencils in H ears (wink) but the anger is getting you nowhere, put it on the conveyer belt and let it go, you got a lot of work to do. Not fair huh? You probably will have to do all the work to save your marriage in the beginning.<BR> Oh ya, if you have a planned parenthood or public health dept. you could go to them they usually have a nurse practitioner who (my opinion) would be more sympathetic and more thourough.<BR>Good Luck<BR>L.

He's been my dr. for 10 years and until now, never did anything upsetting. I just thought he should have been more supportive of testing and I'm surprised he didn't say I should come in. I will go though when I go for my yearly exam soon and demand tests. It floors me that I have to schedule a time to see the darn results. I'm just generally frustrated and down right now. So things upset me more easily. maggierose