Hi, I haven't posted in a long while....<BR>It's almost been 5 months since D-day. I am seeing a Christian councelor (and so is my husband) and that has helped for the most part <B>but</B> I am still going through some tough days of dealing with my husband's PA...There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. UGH... My h says he is truely sorry that he has caused me so much pain and that he truely loves me. I believe him but still can't trust him. Trust?.....will I ever regain my trust in him? Do the "bad" days ever go away? The pain and hurt are still with me. The bad thoughts are still there. Does any of this ever go away? I keep wondering.......<P>HURT

WOW, sounds just like me. My W was the WS, but the P/EA lasted only 2 months and D-day was only a month ago. I think about it daily some days are good some are bad and some are really bad. I keep a positive attitued and feel I'll take it one day at a time. I was at work today thinking of this very subject and was thinking of asking the same question, how strange. <BR>I think the progress we have made so far and the support my W has given has really helped me, this sight has also really helped. I know that every day that passes I feel better and I feel that eventually these feelings will pass. Though you being five months into, This is discouraging to me or perhaps you don't feel nearly as bad as you did and it's getting better but you're still feeling this way? I'm sorry I can't give you advice other than to say keep your head up and think positively as I do. I feel as you do and have the same question: so maybe someone else can answer for us.E

Hi SEM,<BR>Sorry about what happend with your W <B> BUT </B> I am glad you guys are working it out and you are taking it one day at a time. I am doing the same here but there is always something to remind me of my h's affair. Yesterday I found out one of my co-worker's husband left her for another woman...ugh...I feel for her. They have 3 children involved. <B> At least </B> we don't have children and my h didn't leave me <B>and </B> told me that he had no intentions of doing so even when the affair was going on for six months when he traveled on business and during a vacation they planned together. Unfortunatley my <B> FEAR </B> is still there and I just can't seem to regain the trust I had in him before our marriage and during the first 2 years. I do have better days then others but like I said before there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about it and wonder why....Oh, I know some of the answer to my questions <B>but</B> I just believe that we (the betrayed) don't deserve what has happend to us...anyway...My hope is that this will make us a better couple in the future and that the counceling will continue to help us both. <BR>Good luck and God Bless those going through this...it <B>AIN'T</B> easy...but SEM you are right....Take it one day at a time and pray. <BR>Thanks for listening,<BR>Hurt <p>[This message has been edited by 6unfaithfulmonthsHURTS (edited August 01, 2001).]

It's amazing that as I read what other people post that the emotions they are going thru are nealy exactly like mine. I found out four months ago about my w's affair. I have marked on my desk calender D-Day. Life certainly changed. I feel like some honesty issue were lifted but now a whole new can of worm has been opened. The ups and down are incredable. Everything can be going great and then I just get very mad and loose interest in trying to forgive and reconcile. But, I think and from all that I have read time is required to recover, so I keep telling myself that things will get better. I have had all the bad thoughts mentioned in several of these posts. For me, and all the rest of us in this boat, we can't turn back time so we have to just stay positive and try to live in reality. <P>This probably doesn't help much but your not alone.

To 6unfaithfulmonthshurts: This is SEM's W here. Your very right when you say that the betrayed doesn't deserve to be cheated on. Never in a million years did I think I could commit such an act or even think about it. But I did. The guilt I feel is so horrible that I would never wish it on my worse enemy, but unfortantley I'm not the only who feels this guilty. My H hasn't trusted me in four years, but he has every reason not to. I hope that one day he will be able to. It sounds like your still has to travel for work, I can imagaine how hard that is on you. Maybe the two of could go together some times. I hope you take days off just to be together. We take a least one day a week for us alone with out our kids and do what we want. Sometimes it's the movies, or a hobby like going to a shooting range (nice way to release anger) walk around mall, or to an amusment park. What ever it may be, you two deserve time toghther to keep and renew your love for eachother. Good luck and god bless you both. My prayer's are with you both.S

JDB...Thanks...just listening to someone else talk about what they've been through helps especially in similar situations. You're right a positive attitude helps and taking things day by day. <BR>Hi SEM's wife, I know it has to be comforting to SEM that you truely regret what you did and together you both want to make things work. Yes, it is hard for me with my h traveling for his job especially since I don't feel like I can trust him. We did for a while get away from doing things together and we have both stated that is something we desperately need to work on. We've done movies, dinners out with friends and by ourselves. We also share an interest in the shooting range Thanks for your prayers. I believe we are going to make it deep down in my heart because I know God put us together....I just have to learn hold onto our faith and believe we can over come this and in turn be a better couple because of it. Thanks!<BR>God Bless,<BR>Hurt

H,