ok...some background first, I have been married exactly 6 months today... It's my 2nd marriage, and I have 3 children and it's his 3rd marriage, he has 1 child from 1st marriage, and 2 from 2nd marriage... We dated for just about 7 years before we got married and bought a house and blended our families... I'm 38 years old, he is 43 years old-my 1st marriage was to my high school sweetheart as was his... when my 1st marriage went down the tubes-after 10 years, it wasn't because of infidelity-my ex is an alcoholic and was becoming increasing abusive to myself and even to the children to an extent... When my now H and I met and talked about our past-he claimed both his ex's had cheated on him and had affairs and that was how/why both marriages had ended... and that his 1st accused him of cheating on her-which is when she admitted that she was having an affair and he claims he NEVER cheated on her (which I 99% believe) and the 2nd ALSO had an affair and left him for another man (whom she was living with when we met) I believe that she did cheat and move out and in with the other man...but I'm not 99% positive he didn't cheat on her-maybe even first, although he says he never did--but I'm like 50% -not that it matters now, it's all water under the bridge... I was pretty naive and had no other lovers besides my ex when me met--he literally swept me off my feet...in every way, and especially in the sex department... he introduced me to what sex SHOULD be between 2 people and I couldn't (still can't!) get enough!! I love making love with him...We had a very, very good sex life-until we got married...I don't get it... <P>problem is...in the past month we have made love ONE TIME-of which I initiated it...and the previous month, maybe twice-both of which I ALSO initiated... <P>I don't think he has cheated on me...YET...but I think he is thinking about another woman...and I know exactly who...I want to PREVENT it before it actually happens...<P>My H owns and manages a nightclub/bar -that is a stressor right there between us, but I can deal with it-he is not a 'flirt' type of person, he is very businesslike- I work 8am to 4pm Monday to Friday... he works from 10am or earlier, til 6pm most nights, but until 2am on Friday and Saturdays...and "Misty" I will call her...works with him on Friday... I have a "feeling" about her...he hired her about 3 months ago, 6 weeks ago he told me that she just go seperated and going through a divorce, she is MUCH younger than him-and me obviously...total opposite of me in looks...her "other" job is as a hostess in a "Gentleman's Club" - and I know she talks about it to my H, and I get the feeling it excites him... he has hinted at and said things that make me think he is lusting after her... and I have seen her flirt with him...flatter him ya know? I think if the opportunity presented itself, he would "slip" and I know he would regret it like hell...I KNOW he loves me, that we both want our marriage to last forever-the other aspects of our marriage are great, our kids have adjusted fantastically-hence the name MrsBrady...but the ONE thing that I love and crave, I'm NOT getting from him anymore...sure, when there are kids underfoot all the time and we work somewhat different hours it can be tough to make the time...but IMPOSSIBLE?? The last 3 times I have seduced him...and it was 'good' but not like it used to be... will it EVER be that way again?? I have not changed in 6 months, yet I feel like he looks at me critically-as the housekeeper and cook and maid... not as a woman that still WANTS passion and intimacy... <P>now, tonight it's he and "misty" working alone together again...I am thinking about getting all dressed up (I can still turn a few heads when I try) and going out there, telling him I will have one drink and then I'm meeting a friend of mine...and I will see him at home later-that's the other thing, I have NO life except work and the kids and our house...I feel like I am already being taken for granted!! after 6 months of marriage!! I want sex with him...lots of it...but I have tried everything I can think of... now what??? HELP!!! We used to talk about fantasies, he has this thing about wrestling-it really turns him on to talk about, think about me (or any 2 women) wrestling half naked pulling each others hair, ripping each others clothes off-I used to talk about it with him, tease him about me wrestling someone etc, but that has cooled off...I'm a wreck, I'm in love with my husband, I don't want him to cheat on me-I love sex with him-kinky, fantasizing, or just making love and cuddling...but all of a sudden it seems like he has no sexual interest in me at all...what can I do??

Ms.B,<BR>First I would go through the Marriagebuilders sight and read as much as you can. Look into the plan A and plan B concept. Have you talked to your husband obout your feelings, and about this other woman? Tell him your concerns. <BR>I believe if you have suspicion it is for a reason, In my case my suspicions were confirmed, so your not crazy for having them. I don't know if there is more detail that lead you to believe he is being unfaithful, but I would definetely keep a close eye on him. Has he been doing anything suspicious otherwise, such as leaving for unplanned buiseness trips or working unusual hours? These could be signs.<BR>It also sounds like you should study the emotional needs section of the web sight, you may not be fulfilling his needs. You should try to get some time alone with him, go out, or do more thing together with just the two of you.<BR>Try to work this problem out now before it gets worse.<BR>Good luck, let us know how it goes.E

Mrs. B.<BR> I think your real problem is "since we got married I have no life" "he looks at me like a cook and mother"<BR> Tell him your concerns about Ditzy oh, I mean Misty, maybe he will open up to you.<BR> Make a day for yourself THIS WEEK get your nails, hair ,massage , whatever you used to do to make yourself feel special when you were dating.<BR> Good Luck I think the dreesing up idea is a good one.

Thank you....I plan on doing a LOT of reading on this site! I love him, and I know that he loves me and we want our marriage to last forever, but I have read that we often don't do anything to change the things that made our previous relationships fail...and that may well be the case with both of us- I don't want that to happen, I am going to talk to him tonight about how I feel... <P>and the other thing, on Friday night I did get all dressed up and go out there--I pulled up in the parking lot, and he pulled in behind me!! WHAT? well-turns out he was on his way HOME and saw me, so turned around to follow me--it was really a slow night and he said that she could handle it alone, so he called me-but I didnt'answer- was on my way there, and I had forgotten to turn my cell phone on...anyway- we went somewhere else for a drink, then home for a verrry nice end to the evening...<P>thanks for your advice, I do plan on sticking around!!