I recently found out my husband was having an affair (he told me). We were for a few months talking about separating and at the same time working things out between ourselves. I was in therapy and so was he (did not seek marriage counselling). Things were going well even though every couple of weeks things would start going downhill. He told me about his affair. I did not confront him although I had my suspicions. He told me he loved me and wanted to make our marriage work. One week later he moved out and spent the weekend with her, then came to see me and tell me again he loves me and wants to be with me. Things have been going on like this for about three months now. I took off to be by myself for a few days to figure things out for me, he found me begged me to take him back and forgive him. I love him and I did. Three weeks later I found out that he was still seeing her even though he promised me he wouldn't. Since July 4, things have been pretty good.<P>My problem or dilemma is: We work at the same place, all three of us. I can't get it out of my head or heart that he can see her everyday and she or he could start all over again even though he swears that he doesn't want to be with her. Another thing that makes it hard is that all of our friends know about the affair because her and her husband were friends with us. She has left her husband and I think my husband feels guilty because she gave up on her marriage with the hope the she and him would be together.<P>I want to leave where I work so I won't have to her, even though I would prefer that my husband leave and find another job. Can anyone offer me some advice on how to handle this? I try talking to him but whenever I bring it up he tells me it's over. The only reason I'm still with him is because I know he loves me and I believe that he is truly sorry for what has happened. I just don't want the temptation to be there. This is really killing me inside because I don't know how to approach this.<P>Confused

I am truly sorry for the torment you are going through. By reading Dr. Harley's book "Surviving An Affair",he should find a new job asap. You will be happier and have the chance of Marital recovery if he does leave the job. The book is great get it. If he is truthful to you he will have no problem finding a new job.<BR>My prayers to you both.<BR>Lostinny