Thanks for the help FS, SP, and JL. Some of this is pretty blunt and finger pointing, and as I said before, I was terrible to my beautiful loving Wife. <P>This morning I went to my Wife's office and handed her a folded note saying "I miss You", and only touched her arm. She thought I was going to give her something bad, and didn't want to open it. I caused this doubt and the pain that goes with it. <P>I hope she's having a better day. <P>Thanks for your help.<BR>

TCat, what a sweet thing to do to your W! <P>I was just thinking about you this morning and wondering how it's going.<P>Glad you are able to see past our candor and that we say things because we care. You are on the right track and we want to help you keep going!<P>You sound so hurt. I know you are. Please try to do some things to look after you so you can be healthy to give of yourself to W.<P>Hope you have a good weekend. <P>Come on you MEN--get in here and help our buddy. Thanks JL for coming as I asked. <P>TCat, I consider JL my mentor. At first I thought HE was a lady for some reason and I felt upset at something he wrote but he explained what he meant and now he is one of my major rocks here. He is often the only one to answer my posts! I started emailing a few people and found that helped a lot so I don't write on here as much plus I am working so that keeps me busy.<P>Anyway, here's hoping you have an awesome weekend. Just out of curiousity, did you and W date very long before getting married? You might want to try a dating approach as you rebuild the romance and relationship of trust. I'm rooting for you both!

Me again. Sorry, I was just rereading your thread and notice I said I desperately need help...hey, that was honest! I meant needed help at first. I didn't go to a psychatrist but saw my counselor (he is our family counselor to help us deal with H's cancer--he was the only one I could think of to turn to at first and he's been awesome) and H and I were given an excellent marriage counselor. <P>This week I feel a bit emotional but I woke up at 3:30 and feel like I'm playing beat the clock. Hoping to post my story soon.<P>Sorry for writing twice!

Just checking in, TCat. Hope your weekend is going great. I survived the long day Friday and still seem to be having time control me rather than vica versa! But we had a great day.<P>I am pleased to be here to listen to you and try to support however I can. <P>Keep hoping! Keep loving your W. You CAN make a difference.<P>

T<BR> Have you read about planA? <BR>You are just in a hurry for everything to be right.It gets frustrating and really sucks but it takes TIME and lots of it. Look at where you were when the A came to light and where you are now, I see some progress, cuddling,notes,problem resolution before bed,time as friends,etc.<BR> Your wife has every reason not to trust you and does not think this change will last, the only way to prove it is consistant change over time.<BR> Whats the deal with OW saying it would come to W making you seek psych. help? You still talking to her? So whats wrong with seeking help? It might be a good step to show your W you value her opinion.<BR> I think Just Learning had some good points. I dont think you were being attacked.Your posting did say something about going back to OW as she hought you were perfect. Reread your post as an outsider.<BR> Hope you can win your angel back.<BR>P.S. you play at bars, do you drink? Has this been a problem in the past?

Hey, TCat...just checking in. How are things? Any update?<P>You continue to be in my prayers along with your W.

TCat, kind of worried that I haven't come across you here.<P>I would like to invite you to email me if you feel comfortable with that...sometimes members can help one another more away from the board...no obligation whatsoever--just if you still need to talk:<P>MiriamL10@excite.com<P>Continuing to pray for your situation. FS