My wife and I have been married for 9 years. We have 2 children. I recently confesed to her about an affair (7 mos.). I , for while was very stubborn and self-centered. The past 2 years have been difficult for us. I did not put her needs before mine. I am still very much in love with her. I want to change my ways and go back to my old self again. I recently started to see a marraige counsler. There are more steps that need to be taken for me to prove to her that I can be that man I once was. Please help.

1. Definitely go to counseling, hopefully she'll go too<BR>2. Let her express her hurt and anger, hold her when she cries<BR>3. Pray, lots<BR>4. Find somebody to confide in so you don't hurt your spouse with your feelings (for the OW)<BR>5. Never see OW again<BR>6. Read helpful books like After The Affair and Torn Asunder<BR>7. There is a great article called Shattered Vows at findarticles.com about infidelity and what the betrayed spouse needs<BR>8. Answer her questions, her imagination may be worse than the truth<BR>9. Tell her you love her often<BR>10. Tell her how sorry you are, how selfish the affair was, etc.<P>Good luck. My H had an affair with my former best friend and it has devastated my world. He was with her in MY BED which is the hardest part, along with all of the lies (almost 6 years worth).<P>I'll pray for your marriage

thank you for your time and concern. She has talked of getting a separation, just for her to get closure to what i did. I have been at my own place for two weeks now. is this a normal occurance?