My wife informed me that she was beginning a affair with a guy at work. I love her more than anything in the world but I hurt. I want to be strong and win her back but I need support and someone to help We are going to go to Dr.Harley seminar as soon as we can. I told her this morning that she was risking not only us but our daughter happines also that made her mad at me was I wrong. We have problen I know I do not meet her emotional needs well enough. I work to hard. We do not spend enough time together. I just hurt so bad I thought this board might help my feelings so while I am with her I can get her to fall back in love with me. Thanks

Welcome <B>allicat</B>...<P>There is a post of general welcome I wish to share with you... <P>It has a lot of quick links to many of the <B>most</B> important MB sites...<BR>Click here ==> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for All New Builders(Newbies)</A><P><B>About your post</B>...<P>Do start on a <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8113_ab.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A</A>...<BR>Check out my post <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum30/HTML/000176.html" TARGET=_blank>Plan A - 101 (2nd ed.)</A>.<P>There are no guarantees... (on marital reconciliation)...<BR>...and in time you'll find the real purpose of Plan A...<BR>...for you!<P> <P><A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000254.html" TARGET=_blank>Jim</A> / <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000037.html" TARGET=_blank>NSR</A>

Welcome Allicat,<P>I am glad you found us before things went too far. I'll offer a few suggestions. I'm sure someoter marriage builders will chime in too. First, please begin on Plan A. It seems you wife is willing to work things out with you and that is a good thing! <P>I see many people straying sometimes on this board just because emotional needs were not getting met. That may mean they are straying by having lustful thoughts or heavy petting, cheating online or having an all out torrid physical affair. And they don't eant to work things out...a desire to work things out is a positive aspect for your marriage.<P>Yes, your daughter would suffer greatly because of her choices because the marriage would suffer. Your marriage is the glue that holds your family together. <P>Read everything you can at this site, read the Harley's books, read other betrayed spouses posts. Be prepared to go through a grieving process because you do feel a sense of loss. Make a serious commitment to spend more time with your wife and daughter. They are so much more important than work. I sit here typing this while my husband slaves away at work...been there 14 hours today. I'm living the feeling of being left behind because of work and so do my kids. We miss him and wish he could have gone swimming in the lake with us tonight or shared dinner with us or read bedtime stories with us. Make that commitment to more time with family and less time at work if you can, okay? It's hard to meet someone's emotional needs if you aren't there. Something you can do to stay connected are little notes in her lunch or a brief phone call to tell her you were thinking about her and that you love her. There is a cool site <A HREF="http://www.themarriagebed.com" TARGET=_blank>http://www.themarriagebed.com</A> Check it out. There is a section called the Generous Wife/Husband that send you tips to your e-mail every day for being giving to your apouse and to your relationship....highly recommended!!! Good luck and let us know how things are going for you.<P>Bluebird