I have a plan which I hope will leave some of me left when I get done. I am going to actually try to date my wife and get her to fall in love with me again. I know she is attracted to another man (the second time in our relationship) but I hope I can actually prove that she still has intense feelings for me too. She says that she loves me more than anyone except our daughter. She says that she is having a hard time though because she feels she is a bad wife if she can not stay faithful. I am not perfect and have had a hard time loving her since the first affair 8 years ago. This is my wake up call to try to start meeting her emotional needs.<BR>I am having flowers sent to her and having lunch with her this week. I wrote the other man a note that told him I loved my wife. the few people who know that I am going to try to prove to my wife that I love her more than anyone and that she really loves me too think I am crazy. Am I???? I only know I have to try. I think my wife is mad at herself for not being faithful again and is in deep emotional depression. I need her and I love her and I hope her new love makes a big mistake before I do. It is hard to love and not get you own emotional needs met. But I must try. she means the world to me . I must succeed for my family. I believe in Dr. Harley I hope his good words can save me. Any suggestion on how to get my wife to love me and admit that she cant live without me. I need support from someone. I do not want to turn to another women. I only want my wife to love me. I hurt inside but must be strong to show her that I am better than the other man. I just hurt. HELP??:

I am sorry you are hurting and in this situation. Have you read the materials on this site? I would start with <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/Forum29/HTML/000553.html" TARGET=_blank>General Welcome for Marriage Builders</A>.<P>You cannot get your wife to love you, so to speak. All you can do is make permanent changes and Plan A her. Please guard your heart and do not put yourself in situations that would draw you into an inappropriate relationship. That will just make things worse.<P>Posting here will help, as well as counseling with Steve or Jenn Harley. <BR><p>[This message has been edited by Raskal (edited August 28, 2001).]