I have not read about this one before. Found evidence that W had/is having (?) sexual affair. I initially found out 12/2000 but no proof. Now with proof, we're trying to negotiate conditions under which she will come clean. And along comes her dr. appt,...<P>Best case--a scare, worst case cervical cancer. She will find out in a few days whether dr requires us both to come in to discuss options. I am not naive to the fact that she may have had an abortion, as blunt as that sounds. We have not had sex in over two years despite no physical limitations.<P>Before was told what it could be, she was planning a solo getaway (I hope!) to find a place near the coast to relax. Weird. Not a good time to trust her alone, in my opinion, not that she gives any credence to MB concepts, esp. POJA. This after she just came back from a week out of town on business when I found out the affair was indeed intimate. She admits I have no reason to trust her and now, the news of her life. <P>My question: how do I focus on her well-being, knowing there is an undercurrent from her of "I deserve this/God is punishing me." I know LB have got to be off-limits but I do feel that reconciliation might be accelerated whether it's for 6 months or 60 years. Believe me, I'll take what I can get.<P>Peace.