How did you find out about the OW or OM???? Was it hard evidence or just a gut feelin. If it was just a gut feeling, did your spouse deny the affair?

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Spiro:<BR><STRONG>How did you find out about the OW or OM???? Was it hard evidence or just a gut feelin. If it was just a gut feeling, did your spouse deny the affair?</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Trust your gut feeling ... I did not for about 1 year until W bought a cellular phone. I took the detail page and left the bill on the table for W to see it. The next 2 months of the bill shows some unknown phone# is called. W is smart yet dumb, she made short call but many time ... I guess like a I will be there type of call. Trace the number via service($) in the internet (the# is unlisted) got the address ... spy when I suspected A time. From name & address, again got the search background via service ($), got all the name of the occupant plus other stuff. Confront her while they are both in my car smooching around [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] . There are a lot of PI around that do this stuff if you can afford them. However simple thing like getting your phone record or cellular. Keeping journal of WS's un-accounted time, installing net-detective to record every single keystokes on your computer, get trusted friend to follow WS. Get educated about sleuthing. 4 keys in here for success ... 1. play dumb & don't make your WS "afraid" but make them feel "safe" about doing A. 2. patience 3. patience 4.patience<P>Is there any thief confess w/o hard evidence ?. Mine telling story like her car broke down so she has to sleep in the car !! to I need my space and I am so depress that I can not bring my self home.<P>I don't have the heart to do it, you could get <A HREF="http://www.cheaters.com" TARGET=_blank>www.cheaters.com</A> to help you.<P>In short, get educated about sleuthing.

I found phone # in WH wallet and asked him about. Of course he lied. Then after a year of his crazy behavior, our son called his work to tell his daddy goodnite and was told they had not seen him.<P>Well I still had phone # from a year ago and got on internet to get a address and directions to OW house.<P>Rode by OW house and my husbands truck in the driveway. He even lied about that. This fog is really some crap.

Trust your gut but be prepared for denial from the WS nless you have hard evidence. I went through this for months, I ask him and he denies. I suspected my husband was cheating online and searched through the computer guts for clues and got nowhere. In April 2001, I ended up installing a PC recording program called Spector. I recorded for one night and hit pay dirt. I confronted him the next day with printed up screens from the Spector program. You can read more about the topic of online infidelity at my site, <A HREF="http://www.bustedyouonline.com." TARGET=_blank>http://www.bustedyouonline.com.</A> I also have an e-mail discussion list at yahoo on the topic of online infidelity and there is a link to it on the site. <P>Anyway, that's how I found out.<P>Bluebird [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Spiro,<P>I knew something was up when my W, who never stays out late and hardly goes out, comes home at 3 AM after going out with her friends from work back in April. The day after she was a changed person. She was cold, quiet and acted like something was wrong. Did not want to interact with me anymore. I just went with it for awhile.<P>A month and a half later, we were putting the kids to sleep and my W goes down stairs. Well 25 minutes later I decided to take a look and there she was coming out of the basement with a phone. I asked her what she was doing and she said "just hanging up some clothes". Right there I knew something was wrong. My W looked like a deer that saw headlights. I woke up early the next morning and hit the redial button on the phone and BINGO, it was OM from her work. I went upstairs to ask her if she had talked to anyone that night when I saw her on the phone and she said "just her girlfriend". I asked if she talked to anyone else and she said no. I then confronted her about the OM that I just spoke with and she said "I don't know who that is, maybe the kids accidently punched in that phone number". My W must have thought I was stupid or something. I sat there and asked again. Finally, she told me that she spoke with him that night and that her feelings for me have changed for a while. Gee, I wonder why? Maybe because of this other guy? I wish I could have caught it sooner. Like I said, I saw change back in April and should have questioned her back then.<P>dino