I need a MC and trying to decide if want to use Dr Harley or talk to a person face to face. He seems to have good background etc and his views on the correct therapies seem really good to me. Any pros or cons? Thanks Chardoneere, can also send to Chardondeere@aol.com

Actually, Dr Willard Harley (who wrote all the books) does not do the telephone counseling here. His son Steve (M.S.) and his daughter, Jennifer (PhD) do the counseling.<P>I have talked with Steve and he is great. He gets you focused on exactly what and how you should be doing something. Also he is very, very encouraging.<P>Counseling with them is not as you would imagine counseling. You don’t just discuss how you are/were feeling, what happened in your childhood, etc. You get focused on what you need to do (actions, plans, words) to get you marriage going in the right direction.<P>If at all possible, I highly recommend it, at least a few times to make sure you understand and are applying MB principles the correct way. Also, it’s not something you need to do 3 times a week.

ditto Chris.<P>I've worked with Steve and he always has sensible answers laced with experience. He always makes sense and knows when to correct my thinking. He must take extraodinary notes to remember my specific details as well as he does.<P>My W was very quick to criticize my use of a "phone" counselor and I was apprehensive at first. But it's been an effective way for me to apply the MB plans because, as Chris stated, it's not predicated on psychoanalysis of you as a person.<P>A sensible approach might be to establish a relationship with Steve or Jennifer AND with a local face-to-face therapist to cover the whole range. You don't need to see either on a scheduled basis, so it won't necessarily be more expensive. Some of us may need the analysis of our past to better understand what makes us tick and to fully understand what ways in which we can improve.