9 months ago one of my long time friends girl friend (not married but living together)revealed to me that she wanted to leave her boyfriend and start a relationship with me. They had been together for 5 years and she had been attracted to me for 3 years. I had always thought that there relationship was rocky at best and I had similar feelings for her so I ended up giving up my friendship for her. Long story short, my friend found about the affair, blamed it all on me (hasn't spoken to me since), and she didn't end up leaving him. Things ended for a short time but contact began again and she was still unsure of who she wanted to be with and things heated up once again. I just found out that my friend has proposed to her and she has accepted. My friend thinks that she has been truthful and faithful over the past several months and I am wondering if I should tell him that this hasn't been the case. I don't think that this is going to be a good start for the marriage but I don't know if I should stay out of it or not. (I no longer want a relationship with her even if they ended up breaking up) So, do I walk away from it all or tell the friend?

I think this one should have gone to Dear Abby!!!<P>Just kidding and welcome!<P>He should know the girlfriend has not been faithful....but I don't think you should be the one to tell him...anyone else know? If not, tell someone, and then get that person to tell him.<P>I know I'll get flamed for that, but I think he could get really nasty....

If the roles were reversed, wouldn't you want to know? Of course you would. In addition, it is the least you can do for this guy since you were instrumental in her affair.<BR>He can always ignore it but the fact is that you gave the information to him. By all means you must tell him since he can have all of the information before he marries her. It is the right thing to do.

<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Bryanp:<BR><STRONG>By all means you must tell him since he can have all of the information before he marries her. It is the right thing to do.</STRONG><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>Concur completely with Bryan.<P>Bama

Are you still seeing her. If so, meet her and have someone take a picture of you doing something like kissing. Use a camera that records date/time. Have this picture sent to him anonymously with a note. Your off the hook. He knows. <BR>LLL

Since I am the BS my answer is plain and simple. YES tell him, and you need to stop the relationship between her and you. If she is willing to play both of you and not really be faithful either way, you need to look at her for what she really is. Besides, what are you doing with your friends girlfriend. My H is with a fried I had to 20 years, and it hurts more than a stranger. Friends shouldn't cross that line.<P>Not trying to be mean, but look at what you are doing and wonder if you would want your friend to do it to YOU. It might be hard, but be a good person and walka way because it is right. If she is supposed to be with you she will come, without your friend in tow, somewhere down the line.<P>My 2 cents [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img], I am happy you asked for advice from us all!