Wondering how many have successfully broken up affairs spouse was having and how they did it?<BR>Lght [img]images/icons/confused.gif" border="0[/img]

The only way to break up an affair is for your wayward spouse (WS) to want to stop it. Now the point is to convince your WS that you are the better choice. That is what Plan A and Plan B are about.<BR> <BR>You might want to start learning what to do by reading here:<BR> <A HREF="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=29&t=000553" TARGET=_blank>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=29&t=000553</A><p>[ October 22, 2001: Message edited by: zorweb ]

I think all of us BS would love to be able to do this, however, as horrible as it seems the truth is that the affair has to die a natural death.<P>Hang in there!<P>K

I have to disagree with you about not being able to break up the A it depends on the circumstances and I'll tell you why. I had suspected something was going on, but I thought that the OW was just after my H. I never in a million years thought that he would go for the crotch cricket. The more suspicious I got, the more I decided to just come out and ask and sure enough he told me the truth. Only bits and pieces at first mind you but he did finally tell me. Anyway, as soon as I found out, it was OVER. Totally. Within an hour, we found her and we both confronted her. Being the whore that she is, she denied that anything was going on right to my H face, and my H said, "I told her" she then said she didn't have to listen to what I was ranting about and left the room. My point is, after the A was found out, it was like I deflated a balloon. The excitement was gone. It was just sex, he had no emotional attachment to her at all. So I was very lucky. I think what it all boils down to, is that once the line is crossed to cheat, it becomes easier and easier to justify because they figure well, I did it once, so I might just as well keep doing it. He told me he was glad that I found out and glad that it was over. But to my dismay, he also told me that he had no intention of ever telling me, and I think that if I didn't find out, it would still be going on because if its there and readily available, most men just can't turn it down especially if its being thrown at them. By the way, it went on for 15 months.

Here's my 2 pennies worth, but what can you buy with 2 cents these days ??? <p>WHY would you want to ? I am the BS, and i also want the affair to end. BUT if i hound wife to do it and she doesn't want to...she will blame ME for breaking it up and it will start all over again with re-newed vigor. Yes, all BS want it to end, but it has to be their choice. What you HAVE to remember, the affair is not about you. You were on the sidelines and un-aware of this event. THEY have to end it, you can be supportive to them to end it, but can't nag and LB at them to do it. <p>IF they went on for 15 months and you think because you found out it will be over.....you better take some time to yourself and logically think about it. It may have all been an act for YOUR benefit. Be true to yourself and trust your gut instinct. <p>Good luck on this journey through hell !!