I just found out that 2 weeks after becoming engaged, my finance cheated on me. (That was just over a month ago). It was with a girl he knew from the bar....a one night stand. He has never been in a long term relationship. He says he has never felt this way about anyone (meaning me). He swears that his mistake has put the fear of God in him and he would never do that to me again. Am I being stupid believing him? Is a cheater always a cheater?

As a reformed Cheater and xOW I say get couples counseling and take some time before getting married.<p>JMHO

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by sue13:
<strong> Is a cheater always a cheater?</strong><hr></blockquote><p>God I hope not! My wife and I have been married for over 11 years and share three beautiful children. Just last year I found out that my wife had cheated on me during the early months of our dating relationship. To say the least, the news devastated me and I had the same thought that you have now. I know that she has not cheated on me since that time because something changes a person when they truly let themselves fall in love with someone else. Apparently he has acknowledged this by telling you he has never felt this way about anyone else. If he is serious, then you probably do not have anything to worry about. On the otherhand, you may want to take this gift (I sure wish I would have known about the cheating prior to getting married) and use it to delay the marriage and make sure that you two are ready to fully commit to one another. Now is the time to work this problem out. Good luck

Thanks for your replies. I have not yet decided what to do. He is being extra nice now. Trying to cheer me up. He has been taking me to my favorite restaurants, etc. He says he wants to fix things. He seems very sincere...but it is hard believing when I have been lied to before. I will take things slow and try to figure things out. Obviously the engagement is off for now. He says he would never cheat again because it was not worth the pain he caused and the fact that he might loose me. <p>One comment he did make during all of our discussions, which I am not sure how to take, was that he "has never associated the physical act of sex with love." I find this view strange. For I was brought up believing that it is something that is only to be shared between two people who are in love. I guess maybe I am old fashioned.