Pretty big LB. My first in probably 3 or 4 months.<p>
Story is pretty long and although I think I said what needed to be said, I sure did it in the wrong way and definitly at the wrong time. We both ended up talking about it for about an hour later that night and kinda patched things up. I'm dissapointed in myself for not controlling my anger but I guess I will start counting "days without an accident" from 0 again. (LHS, I gave up counting days from dday a long time ago, LOL)<p>One positive thing to come out of the disagreement was that we were not fighting about the A. [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img] <p>W went to couseling today and wants to go to dinner this weekend. Needs to talk. She's been real depressed lately and she seems to have hit bottom (I pray this is the bottom for her). I'm not sure what she has in mind but I hope to know where she is with regards to our relationship after dinner (good or bad). I would say wish me luck but I know I will be OK no matter what happens. I'm ready to take the next step no matter what it is.<p>Just wanted you guys to know I messed up. <p>
who

We are all guilty of pulling some major LB's from time to time (I'm about the worst of the bunch). I have come to the conclusion that no one can be perfect when it comes to LB's, BS or WS included. What really matters is how you do with the LB's. Sounds like you and W worked things out and that is a wonderful thing to hear, turns a withdrawal into a big deposit. My turn to give you a big pat on the back and tell you that you are kicking a**.<p>Question, is W taking any kind of medication for depression? If she is depressed (doc told me these things are 'situational depression' and only need short term treatment) then she really can't think straight right now. Any decisions she may make may not be the right one, gotta be careful about that, on both sides. Rock bottom because of depression can be a dangerous thing.<p>Why do they always tell us that they have something important to say but then make us wait a long time to hear it? I know that its some kind of conspiracy <p>Hope things go well for you both. Amazing how one day things seem hopeless and the next things seem to be working out.

Hey who,<p>I'd say 3-4 months is pretty d*** good, especially considering the way you handled it afterward. You seem to be really in control of yourself & emotions and have a positive perspective about everything (as positive as can be expected). <p>I know personally, keeping the emotions in tends to drive me away from W, so I hope you have some good outlets for that frustration & anger. This site helps. Exercise helps me a lot, too. <p>Good luck Friday--it will all work out for the best.

Thanks for the responses,<p>
lhs,<p>W has been on AD's but switches every month or so. It's hard watching her in this depression. I wish I could help but after trying for so long and not getting anywhere all I can do is listen. <p>I have to say that I finally think I'm getting where I wanted to be. My life no longer depends on my M (although I still want it) and I know I made it through this. I still need to work on things but I'm starting to find happiness again. It feels pretty good. <p>Jake,
Thanks for that. I do try.
I've been at this for awhile. My dday was over 11 months ago. LB'd for the first 2 weeks then almost 4 months without a LB. 2-3 months after that were filled with big time LB's on both sides. That's about the time C recommended this site to me. I did plan A without even knowing what it was. We're seperated now (about a month) but see each other quite often and are good friends. One of my biggest fears was that we would end up in a divorce like my parents (nasty, after 15 years they still can barely talk to each other). I know no matter how this turns out we will still care about each other.<p>I hope I don't scare you by telling you that I'm almost a year into this and we still don't have anything resolved but I do know this journey has done me a lot of good personnaly. I started out thinking I would give it 3 months, then another 3. I finally just gave up and said that I will know when the time comes. I don't expect my marriage to be fixed overnight but I know we (the M) are not in recovery yet. I guess that's where another journey will hopefully begin. I think tonight's meeting is going to decide if we pursue recovery for our M or not. <p>
who