My wife and I have been married 10 years and for the past 5 years I have been supportive of my wife's efforts in dealing with her alcholism. On two separate occasasions my wife has gone away for treatment, the last time for 10 long months. I love her dearly, and gladly took care of our 4 young kids so she could go away for treatment.
I recently found out that my wife has been having an affair with a man she met in the treatment program. The first time in treatment my wife had an affair, but stopped when she came home. This last time the affair continued even after the treatment was over and my wife was back home. My wife swears the affair is over now. She has sworn over and over that all contact was over months ago only to have me find out that in fact it was not. I recently found out she was supposed to be meeting this man, and when I confronted her about it, her response was she was lying to the other man about meeting him. Through out all of this the drinking has not stopped. She can't seem to stop drinking, and now the additional hurt of knowing about this affair has me emotionally drained. I continue to try to be supportive and non judgemental, but I feel so angry sometimes at how hard I worked over the 10 months that she was away. We have 4 young children and needless to say it was a challenge. But now I feel that not only did the treatment prove to be ineffective, (10 months down the drain) it gave my wife an opportunity to become involved with someone else. I love her and am committed to being supportive, but I'm not sure what I should be doing to help, or at least not hurt, both her recovery and our marriage.
Can anyone offer some feedback?
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