I just found out 2 days ago that my husband of 37 years had an affair for 7 year. It ended 13 years ago. He has been better these last years to me. He said he ended it for his family and even quit his job to be home more. I know this sound pretty good now but being suspicious and knowing is 2 different things. It hurts just as bad. Our children are all grown with their own kinds. We have a good family. I love my husband very much but I can't get this out of my mind. It makes me so angry to think about it. I haven't been able to eat. We are working things out and I told him I will not repeat this to anyone we know. Where I need help is how do I let go of this. This was a long affair. I thought all thru the years we were basicly happy. Please give me some advice from anyone that has gone thru this. He seems ok he has asked God to forgive him and me also. What happens next?

Welcome, don't know if I have any good advice to give you, but I'll try. In a way I wish I was in your situation, having the A be a part of the past like that. My recommendation is to get a copy of HN/HN's and SAA, they will help both of you a lot. Get into counseling together and work through this. The only way both of you are going to get through this is to be open and honest with each other. Letting go of this revelation is going to take time and a lot of effort, but it sounds like the both of you have a great foundation to build on. Apply the MB principles to your M so it becomes better than it ever has and you won't have to worry about any future A's.<p>Good luck.

Thank you for replying. Believe it or not just writing my message has helped me. The weather has been bad and my husband has been with me ever since I found out. This has helped me a great deal. I know everyone is not as well off emotionally with support as I have had. I seem to be over coming this well at this time. When he is back working and I have time to think may be another story. We both have been praying together for Jesus to heal my heart. We have been talking a lot and have been reading thru these pages. We also did the questionaire. Our goal is to make things better than ever. I think thru the years we let our guard down on the marriage and looked for something else to fill the needs in our lives. His the other woman and mine our kids. It was not the sex that has always been good. There are so many other needs other than sex especially for a woman. I pray and hope in time my pain will ease. It hurts knowing I should have been the other woman to him. We should have been the ones having the affair together. But we can't change the past we can only take care of today. My prayers are with all of you. I am now part of a group that I never thought I would be in. Thank you for the support.