Hi Echalon and others - Echalon asked in a response to "WAT's Quick Start Guidelines..." how to contact OP's spouse if only the phone number was known - she is understandably hesitant to reveal her own number via caller ID.<p>As background, Echalon was reacting to Rule #9 that recommends the BS consider contacting the OP's spouse if their identity is known.<p>IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: WAT's Quickstart Guidelines are only my recommendations based on all the anecdotal evidence I've accumulated on this site, are not necessarily endorsed by ANY professional counselor - including the Harleys - and should not be considered as any thing other than sugestions of an amateur.<p>For starters on this topic, I suggest Echalon read an old thread, "On Informing OP's Spouse...." Here's the link:<p>
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=010495<p>As anyone can imagine, this is risky business. That's why I specifically chose the wording of Rule #9 to be "consider" contacting the OP's spouse.<p>In Echalon's case, she must not already be acquainted with OP's spouse. I think this is a significant consideration. If she was, the contact could be much more successful in that a certain amount of credibility is likely already established and the contact may thus be taken seriously. Since she's not, the contact will come out of the blue and thus, will likely be suspicious and INcredible.<p>So for Echalon, please read the thread I linked above completely to make sure you want to proceed, please consider getting the advice of a counselor before you proceed (you should be working with a counselor anyway), and then just go to a pay phone to make the call. I am unaware of how to get an address from a phone number. Consider other snooping methods via e-mail, etc. Most importantly, do not let your snooping get revealed. If your H finds out you have contacted the OP's spouse, you will instantly be demonized and will be pond skum.<p>Good luck,<p>[ December 01, 2001: Message edited by: worthatry ]</p>
