Hi! I'm new to this site hoping i'll find some answers to my questions,i'm so confuse and don't know what to do.I've been married for 4 yrs. but we have a longdistance kind of relationship since we immigrated here in the US before we got married.So I have to go and visit him in our home country every year in addition to frequent phone calls to keep our marriage.After the long wait for his visa he finally coming here in the US but I just found out last month that he is having an affair for about a year.We're childhood sweethearts,we've been in a relationship for 8 yrs before we got married so all I thought is that our love for each oher i solid and that this will never happen to us but I was wrong.It hurts so bad and I can't do anything coz I'm thousands of miles away from him.
I confronted him about what I learned, at first he denied it,but after persistent confrontation,he admitted but not having an affair.He said he just FLIRTED with her.But I'm really convinced from my friends story that he is cheating me so I even asked him not to come here in US anymore, and he was crying and telling me that he can't live without me, that he's gonna kill himself if i'll end up our relationship.So I told him not to have any kind of communication with that girl ever again.But until now,my friend is telling me that the OW and my husband are still going out.So how will I know if he still loves me?Yah, he's telling me how he loves me but his actions differ.How culd he still hurt me if he loves me? Could it be that he fell for his ow too?Please help...I dnt knw what to do...
Will there be any good if i'll talk to the girl eventhough I know they agreed to deny evrything no matter what.What do I need to do to end the affair?

Since you are in separate countries you are not meeting his needs and he is not meeting yours. The OW is a handy substitute. I would agree with your friends in that he is lying. They have to lie to cover his "second lovelife." You have to make the decision if the relationship is worth him coming here and working it out. If he does the OW has to go. Repair is not easy and has ups and downs but if you think it could be worth repairing then hang in there.

thanks for your advice.I can say that our marriage is worth saving because he's the only man I've ever loved in my entire life but it really hurts to think that he loves somebody else too.how will I stop the hurting?I'm willing to give up our marriage if only he'll say he loves his OW.I tried to talk about our problem on the phone but he said its better for us to wait til he gets here in the US.I also heard from a friend that the girl is trying to follow him here in the US,she'll try to get a visa too.