I WILL BE POSTING ALL REPIES AND MESSAGES NOW ONLY IN RECOVERY SECTION NOW --- I am going to try my best to tell my story. It is still so hard to think about. I don't think there is a day goes by that I don't.
I am a successful small business women, Married, and have 3 kids. I was very happy in my relationship with my husband, but August 5th, 2000 my life change
forever.
After a long year of hard work and my new building for my store being completed we decided to go to Florida for vacation. This year we had plenty of
employees that where capable of running the business for us. So we decided on 3 weeks along with 2 of our kids, at a condo on the beach, (same place we
have been going for 4 years) our dream vacation spot. That first week we had the time of our life. We really needed this vacation. The second week one of our
employees that had worked for as at this point about 1 year, we invited her to come and stay for 2 days if she paid for the plane trip to get there. That was
August 4th 2000 PM. That night we all just walked the beach and enjoyed the peace and quiet. The next day we started planning the night events. Taking her to
the hottest and expensive night clubs in Ft. Lauderdale. I even purchased her new outfits for the occasion even down to the shoes. I thought she was my friend.
Not only was she our employee but her and her live-in boyfriend of eight years would socialize quite often. We would either got out to eat go to the elks lounge
or just get the all the kids together and just have a cook out that whole spring and summer. Well anyways we went out and had a really great time, danced,
and yes we had been drinking also. After taking her to 3 different places and it was close to 3:00am in the morning we took the taxi back to our condo. When
we got to the room I was exhausted. I went to the restroom and changed into my nightgown. And my husband went to the bedroom to take of his dress
closes into some shorts and a t-shirt. Then I remember saying we had such a good time good night and remind her that we had to get at 8:00am for a
Gambling Cruise on the Ocean.
I then went to bed. I laid there in bed waiting for my husband and I heard her go to the bathroom. Then she open the bathroom door (which has two
entrances to) to check on me I guess. I did not say nothing so she thought I was asleep. Then about a minute later my husband who also thought I was asleep
or pasted out - kinda peeked in the room then went down back out of the room. I didn't think anything about it. So I laid there waiting then I heard no voices
or laughing or anything. So I decided to see where my husband was. As I was walking down the hallway in to the living room I saw no one except my daughter
who was sleeping on the pull out bed. And right beside the bed is the patio that looks over the sea. The door was open (GOD THIS IS SO HARD) I could not believe
what I was seeing - My husband was having sex with her being bent over the patio chair. I can't get over this scene in my mind no matter how hard I try. I went
crazy - I did not touch her but I scratched and slapped him over and over. He at the time denied it. He at that time thought I just watched him pull up his pants and
that it was just a spire of the moment thing. I kicked her out of the room and his statement was there goes one of out best employees. That whole day was
numb I cried all day and all night could not sleep - wanted to die. The next day we got in the truck and just drove. I keep begging for the truth. He finally told
me everything in detail and how long it was going on. It stated in March of that spring and was happening on the weekends on the floor and on the desks at
my very own business building when we was going the to do the bookwork. She to this day is out of our life. She was just a sex toy I guess because with us being
friends she would tell me of other men and stories about her life, but I thought that was her and I was not going to judge. My mind is still so screwed up right
now. I still can't get over it. When I want to talk about it or when I upset he tells me O boy here we go again. He was so sorry at first. But now I don't know. I am
so screwed up. I can't even believe I am writing this right now. I hope I can get some help here. I don't want to die but when I'm depressed real bad at night I
can't think right. That's when I talk the pills. Please just be there. And yes we tried therapy but that was the first 3 weeks of this and I quit because the only
thing they wanted to talk about was the suicide attempts, and they wanted to commit me. I wanted to talk about us. I never went back. I also was on 3 different depressents and sleeping pills from the doctor but they did not help. Only gave me more pills to take. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]
