I have been married 10 years to a man who I thought was the most wonderful husband. Never missed a beat, always let me know how much I was loved, called me 3 times a day at work, sent flowers, held hands. About 4 weeks ago the story unfolded. Our favorite couple (who we will call Mitch & Lisa) with whom we have been friends with for the duration of our marriage had a birthday party for their son at a local hotel with a pool for the kids. We have 2 daughters the same ages as their sons. The party ended, we put the kids to bed and had a couple drinks, the 4 of us. Later that night there was a knock at our door, it was Lisa, she was crying, and visably intoxicated. Her and Mitch had an arguement, she jumps in the middle of our bed and tells us she suspects he is having an affair. My H and I had been watching TV, and our kids were asleep in the next bed. We consoled her and listened to her problems, the 3 of us watched TV. I fell asleep-it gets ugly now. I woke to heavy panting, I think the pounding of my heart moved the whole bed. I lay there thinking, I am dreaming, then I hear a zipper, realizing my H had on pajama bottoms, I knew whose zipper it was, reached over in one fell swoop, and grabbed his hand while it was on her zipper. He popped his head up to look at me, and I popped him in the nose so hard he bled all over the place. I kept things quiet not to wake the girls. The next day when we were alone, I sat him down, and demanded to know everything. He claimed that was the only instance. Mitch called me several days later, and asked me what I knew, we filled eachother in, and he shed the light on 3 other instances with Lisa and my H. I never had a jelous bone in my body, and never suspected my h could do such a thing, well now I had reason to investigate. H & I had a talk that night and lots more came out of the closet, he had an affair in the 2nd year of our marriage with a co-worker while I was pregnent with our 2nd daughter, had 2 affairs recently with co-workers. I relish the last one, she was stalking him and threatning to tell me if he didn't comply hahhhahaha!! He absolutely begged me to stay, he would get help, he was sick yada-yada. Counselor agrees he has a major problem, he was sexually abused at the age of 11 by 2 female babysitters. I have seen signs of what counselor calls detachment, I don't really understand, but remember instances, we were at the race track waiting to exit with H's sister, 11 yr old niece and brother in-law, a passing girl flashed the croud, I watched H he stared like he was the only one in existance, fists clenched, and stated "man those are nice" my sister-in-law chewed him out, and I had to pick my jaw up off the floor, had never seen this reaction from him before. I believe the same thing happened with Lisa in the hotel that night. How could you not think you weren't going to get cought with your wife and children in the same room with you unless you trip and your brain falls out! He is soooo sorry now, never really seen him cry, now it's everyday! Can he really change? Should I bail now because it's a lost cause? I have asked him to leave several times, but he begs and pleads, truth be known I am still holding on to the dilusion of the man I once thought he was, I truly loved this man with all my heart.
