I have been married to my wife for a little more than two years (we're late 20's, no kids) and one day two weeks ago she told me the following things:
1) I don't feel like I'm happy with our relationship, 2) there's somebody at work that I'm attracted to and I kissed him while I was drunk, 3) we don't do enough fun things together and maybe that's because we don't want to spend time together, 4) I'm not satisfied with our sex life, 5) I don't think we allow ourselves to be emotionally vulnerable with each other, 6) I don't feel like there is a spark or chemistry between us and I feel like there never was. This is a relationship that she very much pursued and wanted in the beginning. <p>I would agree that we had a marriage that I might have called in a rut and lacking passion. She suggested that we see counselor and the counselor suggested that we work on things to work on our relationship. But all those things are irrelevant if my wife doesn't know if she loves me.<p>
I posted this story about a week ago. In the past week, we have been to counseling twice, she insists that she has no other contact with this person at work. <p>However, she also insists in saying , "I know that now I don't feel like I am in love with you and I feel like it is likely that I never can be." Is it possible that she is just confused and this is the only way she can react or should I just take her at her word and move on. (As a side note, my W has lost about 30 pounds in the past year or so, and says she feels differently about herself now).<p>Up to this point, I have told her that I want to have the chance for both of us to work on our relationship, but she doesn't seem to want to listen.<p>To all those people that have been there before, any thoughts? Thank you for the support.

[img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] If you hang in there, I think you two can work it out. It sounds like you both need to focus on the marriage and the emotional needs that you and/or she are not meeting for one another. Once you figure what they are (affection, recreational activities, sexual fulfillment, etc.) then you can work on how you can start meeting those needs - one at a time. Keep your head up!

Oh boy, get yourself to counseling right now. She is having feelings that I had after my wife's affair, and the subsequent realization that my affairs, verbal abuse, emotional unavailability (as a result of the stuff I had done I think) etc. had driven her to it really. But what I found was that there is no such thing as greener grass. I was just afraid to stand up and fix things. Sometimes it's harder to try and work on it than it is to just bail out. I kept saying things to her like "why is this so hard?" And, "people aren't supposeed to survive this kind of thing..." The truth is that probably 60% of the people in marriage have fidelity problems, and that means that probably 100% have the feelings that your wife is having! She is bored. We all get bored. But she needs to sit through some counseling, do some reading her, and realize that boredome is a result of losing touch with one another. Take the time to re-connect and you may be pleasantly surprised. I know that I am.