Hello to all,<p>I will post this story in a couple of the forum topics to make sure it gets read...i truely want this to give some glimor of hope to those who's lifes have been destroyed that one day they too can put it back together. I have only posted a few times on this board and i have been away from the board for about a month. But i feel that i owe where i am to what i read from other people here. so here it goes<p>****background******<p>married high school sweatheart we had kids at an early age i was 17,18, adn 20 when our kids were born ( wife is 1.5 yrs older) been married for 4.5 years. i found out (sept.10) by reading my wifes journal that she did indeed have a 1 time physical affair. i had supscions about it for about 2 months at the time i found out and she of course acted like my WS do (common signs of an affair etc) till i told her i knew and that i read it in her journal. she was sorry and had a hard time coming to grips with what happen ( she was deep in the fog all the way up till i told her i knew then the fog was gone) we have since been able to move on BUT the main reason i was able to move on was what i learned here at MB.com and from hearing other peoples stories it made me realize that we are not perfect and that people arent perfect and to let God be my True source of peace and love and happiness and not my wife but my wife is to be a channel that god gives me my peace love and happiness ( hope that makes sense)
my wife and i are growing closer now than before something i thought could never happen <p>***now the miracle****
i am into mixed martial arts ( noholds barred fighting) and i was on way home from grappling practice. I always thought that if i saw the OM that i would literally beat him down and choke him out then start breaking his bones ( just very violent thoughts ). while on way home i stopped by the grocery store walked in and the OM must have saw me cause he immdeiatly walked away with his girlfriend i didnt really notice till they were about 50 feet away and when i knew it was him my stomach suddenly turned to butterflies and i started to walk on thinking " just act like u didnt see him" to "maybe its not him" then the fighter in me came out " this is my chance to put
to terribly hurt him like how he hurt me " so i started walking towards them ( they were walking away from me ) and as i was getting closer i recalled how god helped me deal with the affair by taking the pain away from me... i asked him to take it cause i knew i couldnt handle it myself. I caught up to them. and i poked him with my finger and i had my fighters look on my face ..he looked into my eyes for less than a second and he was full of fear and immdeiatly looked at the ground here is the dialoge<p>***dialouge****<p>OM: "hey whats up" ( looking at the ground)<p>myself: " im not going to hurt you " (meanest face on earth)<p>OM: "ok" <p>myself: "i just want you to know what you did is one of the most hurtful things you can ever do to someone"<p>OM: (puts his hand out to shake hands)<p>myself: "im not shaking your hand"<p>myself: " i just pray that it never happens to you"<p>OM: "uhh yea i been praying bout stuff to" (he's totally nervous and scared and embarrassed)<p>myself: <small giggle> sure ..good luck to you<p>i then picked up my basket and walked away. and when i did it was like a relief came on me that i showed mercy (cause jesus showed mercy on me) i went home and told my wife and she was happy for me. Wife said " youre are such a man ..i would have hit him [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] . ( though i did have a dream the other nite that OM was walking by my house and i thought he doesnt get the hint so i beat him up in my dream funny eh [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] . <p>*****conclusion*****
anyway i just want this to go to the people who i know are soooo hurt. cause i was in your shoes. i thought id never get over the pain...that i would never have a happy day again. i want you to know that it can happen for you too. just hang in there spend time on MB.com. i dont come here very much anymore cause reading other peoples stories does "trigger" some of what i felt when i first came here. just learn alot from others here and the princples on this site. and build a strong relationship with God and you too one day will come out this WITHOUT the life long bitterness and the hurt feelings. Now for those WS out there who want to salvage your relationship the best thing you can do for your spouse is for you to build a strong personal relationship with God. That is truely the best gift you can give your spouse. I pray that this helps someone out there (even if only for a few minutes) believe that they can have the peace, happiness and love in their day to day life restored again. God bless

Hi!<p>I have given this situation up to God and I am trying to let Him guide me in dealing with my H.<p>My H is living with OW. They have recently taken a trip where H took the OW to visit a married daughter. The daughter now feels that her Dad doesn't love her anymore. The OW totally occupied the conversation and the only glimmer of hope was when H saw a memento from his past which had been given to the daughter. She said Dad recognized and made one small comment. Daughter feels that her Dad has given up on his old family and is adopting his new family with the OW.<p>I am trying to let go and let God work on my H. The last time I saw him, he seemed to be in a FOG and was not aware of things around im. Also, I did not notice any touching or love connection between my H and the OW.<p>Is this a phase that is natural and normal?? Is there a chance that he God is beginning to work on H?? I have been sending e-mail (unanswered) that his family and I miss him and love him. I try not to send more that one message every day or two. I don't want my H to think that the situation is absolutely hopeless. <p>Maybe, the messagees will help H see that it is not too late. How else can I let him know that he can be forgiven and that we could work out the problems?<p>Would the best thing be just to back off and continue to let God work on my H??<p>I have asked God for inner peace and the feelings I have are wonderful. I no longer am anxious, my burden seems to be lessened and lighter, and my thoughts are for my H to be safe with time to figure out for himself what the next step will be.<p>I love my H very much and want to work things out. The contact between us is very minimal now but the timing has been left up to God.<p>Help. am I doing the right things??<p>Always and forever