<BR>Hi Everyone -<P>I finally updated my profile!! Boy, they sure don't give you much room anymore for it!!!!<P>Anyway, after H not speaking to me for a while and then finally starting to talk again, he called me this morning. He was EXTREMELY nice and seemed a bit sad.....<P>Then he came over and was happy!! He played with the dog a lot and yakked away at me!! Huge long hugs and looks were given to me and then.....DA-DA-DA-DAH!!!!<P>HE APOLOGIZED FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAS HAPPENED!!!!!<P>This might not seem a real big deal to some...but, I have been waiting for some sort of apology for his behavior for the past 3 years!!!!! I don't know how I did it, but I did not cry!!!!<P>In fact, we even had some conversation about our feelings and the past events!!! AGAIN, another big deal....he hasn't touched any conversation about those things!!! <P>He said that he was sorry that he did this to us...that he just wants to be happy and me also. He said it wasn't something that he planned to happen to us .....<P>I told him that I certainly didn't since we had promised each other that divorce would not be an option - EVER!!!<P>He said "I know and that is the worst hurt for me and like a final kick in the teeth!!" He hates that part of himself that needs this but is unable to fight it!!!<P>I told him that I hope and pray that he finds that good man who is inside of himself again.. ..because that man is the one who should be in the forefront and being made happy...<P>Then I looked in right in the eyes and asked him if the happiness he sought is what he has found......he couldn't answer me!!! <P>He said that we weren't happy and that there was no other choice.<P>I said that I Loved Him and have always believed that all we needed to do was to turn to each other and face it together as a team....<P>He said we've grown apart and I said that we just didn't know how to talk anymore and that his running from the issues by making all these other people his focus kept me apart from him - I had no chance!!!!<P>I spoke of it being a shameful waste if we didn't learn and grow from what we have gone through....<P>He seemed very melancholy.....<P>When he was leaving - I got a VERY BIG, LONG HUG!!!! And another long stare into my eyes!!<P>God it felt good!!!!!!<P>He said he'll talk to me during the week, etc.....<P>He is so concerned about my financial situation - yet he offers nothing to help....<P>He also told me that he KNOWS that I have not been doing anything to hold up the divorce or to screw him, etc.....<P>I didn't say anything....I just let him talk.<P>So, what do you all think!!<P>I know that this divorce is going to go through.....I hope that my H will actually let the good man come back out though....<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba<P>------------------<BR><BR>Thanks for being there! Good Healing - Sheba<P>

Sheba, I rally don't know what to think. Just wanted you to know I read your post. The main thing is how do you feel about it. Just don't try to sescond guess what is going on. I know I do it to and it is hard not to. Just take what he gives and go from there. Easier said then done I know. Lots of Hugs and prayers.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Thanks SDS -<P>I don't really know what to think either!!! So I am not going to think anything......LOL!!!<P>It just felt so good to see the REAL H after so long.....and for him to apologize and bring up "us" the way he did...well, it was a big step forward as far as his behavior as a man!!!!<P>I am not fooling myself about anything. I know that this divorce WILL happen!!<P>I just hope that the MAN will come back to life at some point.....<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba<BR>

Sounds like the man is peeping out just a bit. Congrats on the apology. I think that's really a big deal.<P>Sending you an e-mail a little later on tonite when I have more time.<P>Luv ya,<P>Lori

Peeking out from behind a 100+ degree fever, I can smile at this! <P>I see it as positive, that's for sure...<P>Love ya, Sheryl

Sheba--<P>I'm sooooo glad you received an apology! That's wonderful. Yes, I do believe you're right...the divorce WILL happen. But who knows what will happen after that!<P>Find your happiness. You deserve it.<P>{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Sheba}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}<BR><P>------------------<BR>Laura<P>"I cannot care a little for you. I love you only just enough to love you all the way."~~Rod McKuen<P>

Hi Sheba, this is wonderful news!! Hang incthere. (((hugs)))cl

Thanks folks,<P>It definitely made me feel better as far as lessening some of the tenseness when we do speak and/or see each other....<P>I just want him to realize his potential and be happy......I really do!!! Of course, it would have been nice to stay that way with me, but we can't have everything now, can we!! LOL!!!<P>Lostva - Yeah, peeping out a little!! Like a turtle's head out of the hard shell!!! The apology was awesome for me!! Waiting on the EMail....<P>NB - Thanks for the boost even though you are sick....what do you have there woman!!!! Take care of yourself!!! What is that saying.....Feed a cold, starve a fever...or is it in reverse? I always get that mixed up!!! Well, if you can - eat something!!! There - how's that!!!<P>Lucks - Thanks for the hugs, and I wil find happiness - I know I will!!! Life is what you make it - right?<P>CL - Thank you for the hugs also! I think it is a good start to what I hope is some kind of reawakening of the man that I married.....for his own sake!!!<P>HUGS to all,<P>Sheba<BR>

At least you guys talked and no one blew up or got upset. Don’t know if you should expect anything out of it though. As always Sheba, my prayers are with you.<P>------------------<BR>Prayers & God Bless!<BR>Chris<BR>For relationship info check out <A HREF="http://www.pcisys.net/~chriscal1/resources.html" TARGET=_blank>Marriage & Relationship Resources</A>

Hi Chris -<P>Yeah, I hope that I am past my "bad spell" with the anger and LB's when talking to him!!! That was pitiful!!<P>Don't expect anything - just kinda happily shell-shocked about the whole thing!! <P>Geez, if I am shocked by just this....not to diminish it, but....I would have fainted dead away if he had said I'm calling off the divorce!!! LOL!!!<P>Ah, LIFE.....ain't it wonderful!!! LOL!<P>How you doing?<P>HUGS,<P>Sheba

Sheba -<BR>Hey - it's not reconciliation, but it <I>is</I> a very positive step - especially in view of the stuff that has been going on between you. I'm glad that he apologized ... there's hope for him yet!<P>------------------<BR>terri<BR>I believe in miracles...<P><BR>

Sheba,<P>The first steps of healing....maybe he has forgiven himslef and thus could apologize to you. I am happy for you because I know this means so much to you!!!!!!!!<P>I can see you smile over her!!!! <P>Roll Me Away<P>------------------<BR>"Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things in which smiles and kindnesses and small obligations, given habitually, are what win and preserve the heart and secure comfort."<P>Sir Humphry Davy<BR>

Sheba -- You know, in ways it seems like such a small step, but coming from where you guys were, this is <B>HUGE!!!</B> I don't know either if this is the start of a "sea change" on his part. I can only hope so. I missed a lot by not being on last night, but I, too, had a significant happening that I will post on later when I can get a little time.<P>Between you, Chris and Lori, I am almost speechless, which for me is one of the more significant events in the universe.<P>e-hugs, love and many positive thoughts are zipping down these lines to you as I type this.<P>PS, I responded on Lori's thread that your playwright is really sorry about missing last night's opportunity, but I will somehow make it up....<P><BR>-DeWayne-

Sheba,<BR> It is a positive sign, what it means we or you may never know. I think you are right not to expect anything because as evidenced by my stbx you can renter into Fantasy land.<P>Bob<P>------------------<BR>"You can't always get what you want! But if you try real hard,you might just find, you get what you need!"<BR>Mick Jagger

Sheba,<BR>We know this means a lot to you. Glad he's coming around.<P>Still he must have suffered a head injury to be leaving you. <P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

Hi Sheba - That is great news. Sounds like you've at least set foot on that long road back to healed marriage. Congrats. It also shows that a wayward partner may finally come around even if it takes years. There's still hope! BTW, also wanted to let you know that I love that expression, "whack-a-doodle"! I even say it to myself quite a lot, because I've been a bit whack-a-doodle myself over the last couple of months! Regards, blessings and hugs,<P>--Wex

im so happy for you sheba. it does a heart wonders when we hear words that we have not heard in a long time. i will be saying some special prayers for you tonight and over the next few days kiddo! oh, pray for yourself too...he he he<BR>jerry

Sheba,<BR>Sounds like you are finaly ready to let your h go. When we let go what we love, who knows what path they may choose. You know the saying

Hi Sheba,<BR>It was nice to see that something positive was happening for you. Old "yoyo" here has been up and down a few times since I last talked to you. I tried to log on a couple of times and some tech problem kept me out. My e-mail address is byteme2@net66.com. I miss talking to you and keeping up with your posts. I had all but given up.. Talk to you soon.<BR>Love, Karen<P>------------------<BR>alleyoop<P>