I don't know if I am doing the right thing. I am shattered. He has been lieing to me about a co-worker for 3 months that they werent talking and friends and making me feel like everything is riding on me to make things work. I was the crazy one. I told him to stay at a hotel and I am so angry, and hurt. I talked to the other women, and caught more lies.He says they didn't sleep together. But he lied and lied and its been like we have been divorced living in the same house.
Me wondering what the heck is going on.<p>Trying to work on my own self just to stay above water and since he left two days ago he hasn't contacted me to talk just about the kids. I have argued with him and accused. I know my anger is not helping. Am I driving him to her! I don't know what to do? He has no answers for me he just looks really empty and cold. Even when he says I still love you.
What does that mean after being lied to. I asked him if I wouldn't have found out, would he still be doing this. He nodded. You only stopped because I found out, not because you wanted to. He nodded again! I told him to get out of the house again last night. Help me Give me some wise advice for right now. I am very lost

InFaithIHope,<p>You are doing exactly what you need to be doing. You have been betrayed and you have no marriage until the lies and betrayal stops cold. You have drawn a line and now you need to stay by it.<p>Do not accept any less.

Infaith -<p>I am so sorry that you are going through this.
You're reaction is totally normal, but yes, you are probably driving him away. Take a deep breath and try to read as much as you can on this web site. Learn about Love Busting and Emotional Needs. You can't force him to stop what he's doing. Affairs are addictions like drugs or alcohol, so just think about that when you deal with your H. Get SAA (Surviving an Affair) and Torn Asunder, and learn about what's going on. <p>Your husband is probably not saying or doing anything new, and when you read the books you'll realize that. You'll also learn how to respond to his behavior. If you like the MB principles, then you need to Plan A until the affair dies, which is what needs to happen for you to rebuild your marriage. <p>This is not a short process, it can take months and even years, but by taking one day at a time it's manageable. Get your support system in place - family, friends, counselor, minister, priest, whoever you need to talk to about this. Post on the GQII board for advice. You'll see that ther eare countless others who have been through the VERY SAME THING. Don't try and reinvent the wheel. <p>You need to do these things to take care of yourself and help you deal with the hurt and pain so that you can continue to be a good mom and support your children through this. You're at the right place, just please take some time to familarize yourself with what's happening.<p>You can also call Dr. Hartley during his radio show that you can access through this site. The live broadcast through this site, is 1pm CST and you can call in during that time to get advice.<p>Stay strong, you will get through this. K