My H had an A 3 yrs ago with a girl that chased him for 10 yrs when she turned 18 he had an ocassional A with her among many others with other woman. When she new he was going to end the A she became prgnant. It bothers me off and on. I like the little girl not many woman can say that but it is not the little girls fault she was a product of an affair. Anyway lately when the girl comes for visits or when I now she is coming she brings back the memmories of the affair I have been married 11 yrs been together for 12 i have 3 boys 11,8, 1 yr old the B/M is always throwing it in my face she had a girl. My H has made it clear many times that he never loved her or never intends on leaving me. although lately I don't want him near me right now and he does'nt understand why. any one else have the same problem as me [img]images/icons/shocked.gif" border="0[/img]

I don't know if this helps you any, but about 1 year prior to getting married, I was involved with a woman who also got pregnant. The relationship was short lived and purely sexual, no commitments, feelings of love or anything, I was just in it for the sex. I didn't find out about the child until after I was married and was served with support papers. <p>This has been a black spot on our M from the beginning. I have tried to tell W that this woman meant nothing to me except for the sex and I also have no desire to have a relationship with the child. This child is 14 and I have never made any contact him, I honestly don't know if he is alive or not.. W refuses to believe me and says that if it weren't for being married that I would want to know this kid. The honest truth is that I don't want to know him and if he ever did try and contact me I would tell him no. Maybe I am a horrible person for believing this, but that is how I feel.<p>You have excepted this child into your family and that is an honorable thing to do. I guess I am telling you this because I was in the relationship only for the sex, which your H sounds like he did too. It was a mistake that I, as well as my W, has to live with forever. Only you can accept what H is telling you is the truth, just know that there are others who allowed the wrong head to do the thinking and got themselves into such an awful situation.

Nialza,<p>There is a forum here at Marriage Builders called PREGNANCY/CHILD where we are dealing with this very issue. Ther is a lot of support over there and i know we would love to encourage and help you through this hard time. Hope to see you over there.<p>Julia<p>[ December 28, 2001: Message edited by: mnca6713julia3 ]</p>