I'm just started posting today and I have another question. When do you feel normal again? HE sais all these wonderful sweet things to me but then he was saying them during the affair, too, and I find myself thinking, well, you said that before but... Whenever something comes up and a date is mentioned, I automatically think of what they might have been doing around that time. When we make love I wonderf if they did it that way, if he touched her that way...when we go anywhere I wonder if they went there. I don't ask, though, because I feel like the less I know the better. When do you reach a point where this ISN'T on your mind 24/7?? I'm tired of thinking about this!

Hi again Barrie,<P>It has been 9 months since discovery for me. I don't know if you will ever feel normal again. Your life has been forever changed.<P>We are presently separated and "date" occasionally. My W was the betrayer. I also wonder when we go out if we are eating at the same place that "they" did. Are we sitting at "their" table. I put it aside. It will drive you nuts if you keep thinking of it. I don't need that. If I want to go nuts it's a short drive, perhaps even a quick walk for me. <P>I don't believe that this will ever be forgotten until I'm dead for two years. I can't forget, but, I can forgive. <P>I was the betrayer 13 years ago with my first W. I still can't get over what I did. Probably never will. What the [censored] was I thinking?<P>Once again, keep posting, someone for real will answer. <BR><P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

Barrie,<P>Have you read any books on affairs? If not you both should get a couple and read them so you know what the affair was all about, what caused it, and how to keep it from happing again and what you both will be going through. Their comes a time when you have to not dwell on the affair or worry about what your husband is doing. Ultimately there is not a lot you can to prevent the affair. You can however make sure you change so that whatever reasons your husband strayed before don't happen again. Good luck and much patience. You will need it.

Me again,<P>There was a thread a few days ago regarding what comes around goes around. I couldn't respond, because I kind of feel that what I did to my XW years ago is actually coming back to haunt me. <P>In reality I was not a good H back then and not this time around until I found this site. Now, My W is not really interested in reconsiliation. She is still in Fantacyland, but I am willing to wait and become her friend. She feel in love with me before and I believe that she will again.<P>Put your seatbelt on. It's a hell of a ride.<BR> <P>------------------<BR>"It's not over till we say it's over! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? H*ll no!" Blutto...Animal House 1984<P>Wishing us all the Best.<P>Medic<P>

He's doing everything he can to try to prove himself to me, but it really has only been about a month since I found out so I'm still going through some sort of stages, I suppose. The cause of the affair is almost clearly (but not completely) due to the fact that we lived apart several hundred miles and only saw each other 1 weekend a month. He swears it has nothing to do with me, tells me I'm beautiful and perfect, and that if I'd been here it would have never happened. But I can't stop thinking about what went on behind my back, all the times that he was out with this so-called "friend" who it turns out he was sleeping with, too. Oh, I have to go run up and down a hill a couple times. I'm starting to feel all icky again, and that always helps.