My son mentioned that his father had bought gone to get a Christmas tree for the OW this weekend, and that her youngest child said, "Now that we have H, we actually have a Christmas tree before Christmas eve". <P>Yeah, now that her family has H. For many years my H took the kids and cut our Christmas trees, often from our own land. Some of them were pretty odd looking, but that made them special. Last year, during the midst of his affair, he did not show any inclination to go get one. A few days before Christmas my daughter and I finally went and got one of the few that was left. And then on Christmas eve he got angry at our daughter and went to bed and literally pulled the covers over his head and did not help put out presents or fill the stockings. <P>I wish I could just skip Christmas this year - and every year from now on. And to top it off my oldest is leaving Christmas afternoon to fly to Florida to visit a friend.<P>How can he care more about her family than his own? I have noticed that there are very few cases on this board where the betrayer has left for a new family - crazy or what's H is one of the few I can think of. Is there anyone here who can tell me how the betrayer can sit there on Christmas morning watching someone else's children open their Christmas presents, while his own are miles away and fatherless?

Nellie1,<P>My heart aches for you. Your situation is one of the hardest I can imagine. My H lived a double life for over 10 years and that included another womans children but he did spend time with our family. I'm not sure which is harder, but at least your H isn't living in deception, his sin is in the open. My life was a complete lie due to his cowardice.<P>Keep your chin up. I'm saying a prayer that your H will see what he is doing to HIS family and I have a candle lit for you too.<P>------------------<BR>love is blind<P><p>[This message has been edited by Taj (edited December 12, 1999).]

I'm with you. PT has a 2 year old. H called tonight and I had to sit and hear this little one scream "daddy, hold me" through the phone, while my daughter cries for her dad.<P>It's hard. And I don't understand it. But it's the way it is right now.<P>Lori

My H has left his grandchildren for the ow' children. He even made a comment a few months ago about how the would accept him into the family. While he was a home and having the affair, he couldn't even stand to be with grandson for very long periods of time no patience or maybe guilt?<P>This Christmas I guess he will be with her family as his said no way! <P>------------------<BR>di<P>

Taj,<BR>Yes, he is out in the open, but if I had to do it over again I would never have confronted him. At least he might have been at home with the kids.<BR>lostva,<BR>That must have been awful. At least my H's OW's kids are way too old to ever think of him as a father.<BR>SDS,<BR>I'd guess guilt, or depression.