Forgiver, <p>If that is your requirement yes. If you will tolerate the A, he will continue it. He is 'pushing' you to decide for him. Don't do that, decide for yourself. There is a difference. <p>L.

{{{{((((Forgiver))))}}}} are you ok ?. I run out of nail to bite ... soon I have to bite my toe nail [img]images/icons/blush.gif" border="0[/img] . There is a different by being a doormat while you are doing your plan A and being a doormat. In your plan A, you buy time to wait and access the situation ... you let H see your changes and fix the complaint that H has on you. If your plan A is rejected ... (which is in this case) then you have to make a decision. You have to take control not being a doormat no more and stand what you want in M. Tell H w/o LB'ed what is acceptable to you and what is acceptable behavior in M. I do not tolerate my WW behavior either, she also plan B'ng me. I took control right away and wait. I am ready to move on w/ or w/o my W. It is painful but I am ready. I think you do too.<p>Please give Jennifer a ringer, you need help to look at your situation. Tell Lorry or the other admin. that it is emergency to get you time right away w/ Jennifer.<p>-RH-

HELP!!!!<p> I came home last night around 8:30 to find H in driveway. I told him I did not know he was coming so I just went to Kickboxing. He must have been waiting over an hour in the pouring rain. He came in and I hugged the dogs and made a big fuss over them. He immediately saw my plan A letter on the table. "He asked what is this?" I told him I didn't know when or if we would ever get the chance to talk so I wrote alot down with the hope that eventually he would read it to get a better understanding of where I was coming from. He was reading it as he said "we have to talk". I said OK but he was still reading (it's 12 pages) so I told him when he wanted to talk I was here to listen. I then said I was going to take a shower. After my shower I called my parents to tell them I was home. He came into our bedroom and asked if I was going to bed. I told him soon. He said "We'll talk tomorrow." He went downstairs and watched TV. I went down and watched for an hour tried to make casual conversation about an interesting science article I had read. He was not saying much. At 10 I decided to go to bed. I got up, kissed his cheek said "Goodnight and thanks for coming home." He remained stone cold still. He slept on the couch again. His toothbrush and stuff was in the half bath downstairs. He does not seem to be moving his stuff in. Looks temporary.<p> This morning I came down to let the dogs out. He pretended to sleep. Even with the dogs licking and waking him, he remained still. I kissed him on the cheek and left earlier than usual.<p> I am kind of confused here. I think I know he wants to bolt. The A continues. We have no chanc e while A is going on so why force the issue? Do I tell him to leave and when he is ready I am willing to work it out. As long as I have love I have hope? Or do I not tell him to leave and just tell him I am sorry he feels that way but I'd like to work it out. Do I force him to stay? Tell him he has to? I think he's just going to go.
I am suppossed to let him go.<p>Is this the end or what- remind me? Do I throw in the towel now? I thought I was supposed to let him go with the image that I am here to work it out as long as I still have love for him. My love was up for him to lose. I ask him to leave and live for me? GO to plan B? Or do I go file? I do not want to file, while I still have love. Also I do not want to lose where I live any sooner than I have to.

When he left for school I was prepared for a difficult 3 years ahead of us. So to live for me for the next 2 years is not too far fetched because I was prepared for him to be gone at school. <p>I am getting confused as to what my goal is guys. Jennifer is out of the country until the end of May and can not take calls. you are my only lifeline. Plan A and let him leave (since he is not giving my plan A a chance) or go to plan B and ask him to leave like he wants to. I am handing him over to OW.
Help!!
Forgiver

Forgiver,<p>Okay -- here is MHO. I would not tell him to leave. He needs to make that choice -- that you he can't later blame you -- "you threw me out". You do need to communicate how you feel. "I feel that we cannot truly work on our marriage until you end contact with her." "I love you and want to work on our marriage. I know that we can repair the damage that has been done and have a better marriage than ever. However, I do not feel this can be done if you are unwilling to work on our marriage. Therefore the choice is yours. I am here for you and I love you and know that I can do whatever it takes to make our marriage work, but I need you to make the commitment also." <p>Something along these lines. You could also tell him that the choices he has made have hurt you. That you know by your extensive study these last few months that you can forgive him and can build a better M. You want him to choose to work on the M with you. That you will continue to work on yourself as a person, no matter what his decision is and that you know you have learned things that will allow you to have a more fulfilling M than ever and that is what you intend to have, regardless of what he chooses. You might also want to let him know that it will not be easy -- but nothing good ever is. You will be there for him for the rough times and understand that giving the OW up will be difficult and that you will be there for him.<p>I think right now you have a chance to let him know how you feel. No LBing. Focus on I statements. Don't try to control him. He needs to make some decisions, but you need to give him information from where you are coming from, so he can make an informed decision.<p>Good luck. We will be praying for you.<p>FHO

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Is this the end or what- remind me? Do I throw in the towel now? I thought I was supposed to let him go with the image that I am here to work it out as long as I still have love for him. <hr></blockquote><p>Can I ask some questions ? ( please don't get upset at me) <p>Have you forgotten about the fog?
Isn't his behavior " classic fogese" ?
Isn't he acting just how you have been told he would act ? Doing just what you had been told he would do? <p>Now some about how you feel -
Aren't you feeling down because he is doing all of the above?
Isn't it hard to think clearly when you are feeling down?
Don't you always do better after you have time to think about it a little bit? <p>Now some about what you should do -
Is there any reason why you need to decide right now what to do?
Can't you wait and see what he does first? <p>I think FHO's advice was right on. Reading your plan A letter had to help him know how you feel and probably said many of those things that FHO recommended.
Is he willing to have that talk yet? You have a good foundation for it now. <p>Perhaps there is one more thing you can communicate with him. Tell him you are afraid to get close also for fear things will come apart again. " I am afraid, please help me." I think that will help. Fear is one of the reasons you are having those feelings right now. <p>Here is a thread that I think will become a classic on the boards. It helps all of us understand our feelings and why we do some of what we do. The 2nd page is where it's at, but you have to read the first to understand the 2nd.
communication advice <p>You see, it's not just you that has fear. He does also. What if he comes back and it doesn't work. What if he tries and things fall apart. Think about that for a moment. He has fear too. It's real. <p>Remember, someday the A will probably end. They almost always do. We all thought it might be now because he came back. But the timetable may be different that what we / you thought. Are you strong enough to keep going? Give yourself some time, lets see what he does. Think about it more before you do anything. I bet you will figure it out.<p>[ May 14, 2002: Message edited by: still seeking ]</p>

I agree Forgiver, you are reacting to Fog, and I know its really hard, because I do it too. As we live we learn, the reaction to the fog will get less and less as you continue.<p>Only you know how long you can do this for, but my guess from what you said is that if you push him away you may regret it. Once you plan B you can't go back to plan A.<p>You can't make him do anything Forgiver, you need to let go of him and understand that its his life and his decision. How you chose to react to this is your decision. That was my plan A lesson, it may be yours to.<p>Keep us posted. Keep plan Aing if you can. I don't believe he feels nothing for you thats just fog.

Well We had THE TALK,<p> He said he does not want to string me along. That he came home to try to work things out. He took the semester off and came back for the first week because he wanted us to work and he thought there would be fireworks and it would feel right. But after being here for a week he was so uncomfortable and he felt like a stranger. He didn't have the feelings that he wanted to make it work once he was here. He said he could leave me for the past year and be fine but the way he feels about her he could not be away from her for a year. He got teary eyed. But i remained calm and loving actually a little cool. I did not cry I just told him everything you guys said to say. I love him and I want to make our marriage work. I know that we can have a better M than before and I can forgive him but it is up to him to want to do this with me. He said he thought he wanted to but he does not. He loves me but he does not have feelings for me anymore.
He asked what i wanted to do. I turned it back on him and asked him what he thought we should do. He said it would be easier for him if we didn't do anything until he was done with school. But if I met someone and wanted to be happy with them then I could go ahead and file. Whatever i wanted to do. He suggested we get a seperation. He has talked to some people and what he would like to do is get a legal separation kit. He suggested a no fault non contested seperation or divorce. We could split everything and still be friendly. HA! HA! And then I asked what are the other alternatives? He said then we get lawers involved and then I don't think there would be any chance of us being friends. So I said "Oh so if we get a divorce you would still want to be friends? You and Andrea and I could go out together? That would be OK with her?" He said if he hadn't screwed this up and if I had stayed there with him she and I would have been great friends because we are so much alike. We say the same things yadda, yadda, yadda. But I added "I said thenm first." He answered "She always says that she said them first."
So I told him what he has done has destroyred my life but despite that I still love him and I still have hope. I am sorry he does not see any right now (He said he does not see a light at the end of the tunnel for us). <p> In his typical fogese he said what if I have an affair- as I have every right to do so, so he said. (trying to bring me to his level/ justify) What if he tries to come back and make it work and it does not? I asked him if he thinks he did try to make us work after being uncomfortable for a week, leaving to stay with his parents and then sitting down and telling me it was over? He said yes, he thinks he tried by taking the semester off and coming home. but once he was here he didn't want to try and he didn't want to string me along. I told him he had to be willing to do the work and put in the time and run the gauntlet with me. He said he knew that but he did not feel that he wanted to do all that work. He realizes that he is giving up 12 years for no good reasons to leave for something that could end tomorrow, but that is how he feels. He knows people think he is taking the easy way out but to him there is no easy way. He used the excuse that he could never look any members of my family in the face again after what he has done. I told him. This was between us. My family could forgive him. This is not about them. He just can't bear to face anyone. <p> I told him if he wanted to file go ahead and get the papers. (I do notthink he will but I certainly will not!) SO I think he is going to order one of these separation kits where we "Do it ourself- In other words I get screwed again!". I wonder if these "kits" come with a decoder ring or if you have to send in three proof of purchases from Lucy Charms? A "Do-it -yourself-kit?" I don't think so.
Tonight he took my session at therapy. I think he needs it because I floored him with my reaction to him telling me he wants out. I am very proud of myself for not LB at all and also for not crying. I let him do ALL the talking and looked him straight in the eye. It was much harder for him than for me. I knew what he was going to say. He told me again there was nothing I did or dodn't do in our marriage that this all came from him. He said I have tried everything to save us but he just does not feel it and does noth think we can have a second chance.
He asked if/ what my parents knew. I told him they knew we had some serious problem but that you came home to work it out. When you left after a week they wondered why. But they were supportive of us. He asked if I wanted to tell them or should he. I told him he could because it wil break their hearts and probably kill my father. I can 't do that to him. Should I have him tell my parents? Or wait? <p> I think he is leaving at the end of may to go back. He can not get in but he paid the OW 3 months rent. If he leaves my parents are really going to wonder. Should he tell them. ShouldI tell them first to prepare them? They really don't know.<p> He asked if I wanted him to leave. I told him he could stay if he wanted. ( I would rather he wasn't here but if it makes it more uncomfortable for him, so be it. I 'd hate to se him go to his parents where they would enable him more. So I think he is staying at least another day. I can tell he wants to bolt. But I will give him absolutely no fuel. <p> We went out for pizza and we split the bill!! He asked how weird was that? I said you've done alot of weird things lately.<p> So now what? Thank you so much for reminding me of what I am suppossed to be doing and all the fog stuff it really helps. I'll try to keep you all posted. Keep praying!!!! I'm doing FINE!!! I have your voices in my head.
Forgiver<p> I sent him a plan A letter in e-mail as well but it was returned. He closed his e-mail account. Something about his mother getting into his e-mail. So I printed it out and I'll leave it on the table for him.

Forgiver,<p>First of all here is a cyber [[]]<p>You really have maintained your compsure. I am proud of you. <p>As for his confused state. Well looks like the beginning of the end. WhY? Because just as unconfortable as he was here with you he will be when he gets back. Oh you can be sure that the OW will not be happy with any thing he has done here good or bad. This may cause her to LB. <p>Unfortunately he may have to go back, spend $$ to wake up. Where you will be when he does wake up only time will tell. You have stated you love him, now I will tell you to let it drop. Don't tell him that anymore (for now) while he is in this state of mind. He knows you love him but sometimes they (WS) use that as an excuse to use you as a doormat and the OW will use that as a way to get more out of him. <p>I told my WS that I hoped he and the OW would be happy because someone had to be happy out of all this misery. Why did I say that? Because the times he would be happy, he would remember my wish and that would be an LB between them and I didn't even have to be there. Ahh....it worked. Seems like my 'wish' cursed their happiness. Awh.....do you see me cryin? Nope. Remember with all this misery someone needs to be happy. Reverse fogese.....<p>L.

Go Forgiver!!! YAY!!! [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>(((Forgiver)))<p>I'm so proud of you, you did your best and you recognised the fog for what it is. My H has come out of fog a bit and he says there are still feelings for me. Of course there is, you can't wipe away 11 years in a few months. Same with your H. If you've done nothing wrong, then how can he have no feelings left for you. He's talking bull**** and he's scared. He trying to make you LB so he's got a reason to leave. He's scamming!<p>Orchids right, OW is going to be ultra suspicious and controlling over there when he gets back, so will all his friends. <p>Forgiver, re your parents. Who do you think should tell them. Your foggy husband or their daughter. Will he respect them? Its really hard, but I told dad. It was the hardest thing I ever did and he does not like my H anymore, but I needed him, just like you need your parents. It was hard to tell him I'd lied to him about the situation. Think carefully, that's just my opinion and I don't know your parents or your H. <p>Be careful during this separation if it goes ahead. Let him do all the work, but be careful of not using a lawyer and of him, remember the motherships in control so he could try anything. Be assertive and know your rights. Tell him you want to be his friend even if you use lawyers and there's no reason you can't be. Keep good records and document everything H says.<p>I wish that wind would come through and blow away all the fog.

Forgiver,<p>I am proud of you. You did the right thing ... let H know that you love him but it is up to him to loose it if A continues .... and w/o LB !!!!. Hang in there girl, listen to Orchid !. She is a Venusian Lady who know how to talk fogese [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . You withdraw a bit to let H feels that is it not fine to continues to have A and disrespect you. But w/ no LB !!!. Let him waffles, let him do the deed.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong> He asked if/ what my parents knew. I told him they knew we had some serious problem but that you came home to work it out. When you left after a week they wondered why. But they were supportive of us. He asked if I wanted to tell them or should he. I told him he could because it wil break their hearts and probably kill my father. I can 't do that to him. Should I have him tell my parents? Or wait?</strong><hr></blockquote>
Let him but if he doesn't, you find a way to tell you father ... You do not want to cover it up anymore since H will move back !. Prepare your father after H leaves if H would not have the guts to tell your dad.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong> He asked if I wanted him to leave. I told him he could stay if he wanted. ( I would rather he wasn't here but if it makes it more uncomfortable for him, so be it. I 'd hate to se him go to his parents where they would enable him more. So I think he is staying at least another day. I can tell he wants to bolt. But I will give him absolutely no fuel.</strong><hr></blockquote>
Wow !!, you are really fast learner. My WW knew to push my button ... I was falling for it until I took back the control. Now I even smiled when she tried too ... it backed fire on her.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong>So now what? Thank you so much for reminding me of what I am suppossed to be doing and all the fog stuff it really helps. I'll try to keep you all posted. Keep praying!!!! I'm doing FINE!!!</strong><hr></blockquote>
Keep doing what you have been doing, no more no less ... Patience, time and consistent !!!. Let H thinks and stare his mess at point blank, let H decides. He admitted that he is at fault, that is good.<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr><strong> I sent him a plan A letter in e-mail as well but it was returned. He closed his e-mail account. Something about his mother getting into his e-mail. So I printed it out and I'll leave it on the table for him.</strong><hr></blockquote>
I thought H already read the hard copy ?. Be patience, be patience ... no LB but no doormat either. If Jennifer is out of the country, ask for Steve !, he could review your case and give you guidance !. However be ready with all the updates that you have to give SH in very detail !. The more the better for him to see your situation.<p>-RH-

Oh Forgiver,
Hugs to you
I am so sorry for the pain you are going through.
You handled the talk very well. You are right. He is trying to get you to LB so he has excuse to leave or have you make decision for him.<p>In Love must be tough, I read something along the lines of a partner feeling trapped. The more he feels that he is being held on to the harder he fights to get away. By opening the cage door and setting him free he then has a chance to feel the freedom and only then can he really assess if that is what he wants. He can choose again, rather than feel he is trapped. (I read this a while ago and hope this is right it is my interpretation and it certainly helped me on the three occassions my H left me)<p>He may not come out of fog now or in the near future if at all. But unfortunately as others have said, he has to make own decisions. <p>I am glad he finally at least talked to you. Unfortunately it was not what you wanted to hear, but he seems to have been running away from opening any dialogue or chance of any understanding between the two of you since your Dday. His going to a therapy session is a good step too.<p>I really feel for you. I know just how painful this is and wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I am thinking of you and praying for you to have the strength to get through this.<p>The fact that he will be so far away makes this all so much harder. I know because I was in same situation for three years too. I don't know how to help you on this score.<p>Anyway I am going to Sydney for a conference tomaorrow so I will be offline for a while. I really hope that you are okay and that you can stay strong. Hnag in there
Love and hugs
Confused and Scared

hi Forgiver:<p>All I have to say is you did GREAT!!!!!! Hang in there. I have a feeling you will be fine however this mess goes. Just fine. wu

Forgiver,<p>You did great -- as everyone has said. This time will be hard for you, so make plans for yourself. Make sure you get legal advice on your rights -- you need to look out for yourself financially. <p>Your H can run, but he can't hide. That is because he will take himself with wherever he goes. He has to look himself in the face and live with his actions that have hurt so many. He thinks that by running from you and his family that he will not have to face up to his actions. He will find that they will follow him wherever he goes. I believe he ran from the island because he wasn't truly comfortable with the OW. He is running from you because he cannot be comfortable. Well, the person he is really running from is himself. Now he will go back to the OW and still feel guilty. She will LB and then he will be able to imagine going a year without seeing her. <p>Orchid has some good advice about backing off now. You have said what you wanted to say. You have shown him that you are strong, capable of forgiveness and willing to work on your M. That is a great impression to leave with him. When the OW LBs, your H will think and remember how wonderful you were -- which will probably cause more LBers.<p>As always, hang in there. The coaster is not done yet. You have done great so far. Keep coming and let us know how things are going -- we are here for you.<p>FHO

Forgiver, I have been lurking on your thread because your actions have been so inspiring and the advice others have been giving you so exceptional.<p>My hope for you is that you continue using MB princlples; they have given you peace and whatever decisions you make that you continue to make them in "your best interest". You have said that you love your house and want to stay. Your H owes you the ability for you to stay in your house. I also believe that the A will die a natural death. How can something survive based on dishonesty? One reason I believe that it has gone as it has is that his "fantasy world" is separated from reality by physical distance. On his island he is able to escape from reality. At home with you he is faced with the reality of his poor choices; how could he not feel guilty.<p>You have not made it easy for him to let go of you. No Lb's and your constant message of being willing to work on you M. I hope he find the filling out of paperwork too much work to complete. God Bless you, I hope you feel the love and support of all of the angels on the website pulling for you! CSue

Thank you all so much for your suppoert and encouragement and love!<p> I really can not do this without you. the whole time he was talking I had all your voices in my head. I literally was repeating to myself. "My H is an alien. The alien is talking. the alien is talking. Don't take this personally. LISTEN. Do not respond yet. Look him in the eye. etc."<p> I can see how I do not know where I will be when he comes out of the fog. this has made me so strong and to realize that I deserve better. i am not giving up yet but i have felt a shift in my heart. He said i do not deserve this I deserve someone better. He hopes i find someone and realize'Wow. This is easy! This is not so hard!" I told him it was easy with him but sometimes you have to put in the work. It will never be easy all the time. His A is easy right now.
He said he realizes after reading my plan A letter that we both had needs that weren't being met. That he certainly did not meet any of my needs either. I told him I did not even know what my needs or his needs were until now. I realize my needs were not being met buyt i have discovered how to better communicate my needs. He commented that it wasn't all about sex and my not meeting his needs. He felt i didn't want it so he was going through the motions and started resenting me. I told him my need for affection was not being met so I could not reciprocate sexually. I told him I thought that sex was one minor event but that foreplay should start at breakfast. He agreed and stated it should be an all day event. I agreed fuully. But he wasn't doing that so our love life died. A natural ocurrance by the way that can be fixed now that we know what was wrong- I told him. <p> He told me I deserve someone better thatn him. I told him I do but he can not make my decisions for me. I chose him because IO thought he was good for me. I love him.
I am backing off. Was not homew when he came home for therapy last night. HE was sleeping in the guest bedroom- not on the couch.
He told me he came back to work it out because he couldn't bear to go on like this any longer. HE didn't want to string me along. He couldn't continue to do well in school. It was eating him up. He wanted to come home and have us work out or let me go. I tild him I didn't think he tried hard enough to make us work. I thought he already had his mind made up when he got here that he didn't want it to work. He sabatoged any chance we had. I told him he didn't give me a chance because he had his mind made up. <p> He read my 12 page hard copy of plan A letter. The e-mail I sent him was everything from FormerHopelessOnes post. To tell him I didn't think we could repair our M while he was still involved etc. THANK YOU FMO!!! I told him everything you said to me in that post I also wrote it down and e-mailed it. A shortened version of my 12 page letter.<p> I will not agree to a do it yourself separation kit. I will not sign anything.<p> I will talk to my parents this weekend.<p> A very interesting note. I know he and OW are getting coached by her mother and step-father. They both had affairs with each other and ruined their first marriages. I found out the OW is 24. Her mother is 44 and her step-father is 33!!! My H is 31!!! His FIL will be 2 years older than him. How freaky must that be? Two guys the same age- the one like the mother the other likes the daughter. I must admit- perhaps the OW is looking for a "Father-figure" or step father figure in my H? Whose to say she wouldn't have an A with her step-father?<p> BIZARRO!!!! Thanks for your help keep it coming this week is so hard. I will go to kickboxing and bag boxing and be home by 7 pm tonight. I should do my own things now right? Or should I be home for dinner etc? I'll be back tomorrow!
FOrgiver

[img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <----------------------> [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] . This is plan A all about, make you understand how to be a better spouse and longing for a fullfiling R !. You know what you want and don't settle for less ... w/ no LB !.<p>Actually I feel sorry for your H, he must get sooo confused !. I pray and hope he could come out from the fog soon.<p>-RH-

Forgiver, I also have been following your thread. I must tell you that you are a very strong woman and your H will not find that anywhere. <p>Keep strong and remember that you are doing this for yourself most of all. <p>I will pray for God to continue to give you strength and that your H realize what mistake he is making before its to late. Your H's OW doesn't know any better, look at what role models she has.

Forgiver,<p>Just want to add my support again. You are doing great. You should do what you want. Whatever your normal routine is. You have clearly expressed your position to your H -- you are not being a doormat. <p>Observe what your H does now. It is kind of up to him. Don't be suprised if he runs again. Just keep telling yourself that you have done everything you needed -- he will remember everything you have said, even if he doesn't act like it. <p>Now is the time for you. Continue to work on yourself. Actually, if he does run, you might be relieved for a time -- I sort-of was when my H first left -- not all that walking around on eggshells. You should continue to make plans for yourself and move forward in you life. I remember you talking about how many graduate hours you have already -- think about your future and what you will do. This will be important whatever happens with your H. <p>Hang in there. We are here for you. I still believe you are the poster girl for the Plan A. I am amazed at how strong you have been.<p>FHO

Hi Forgover,
Hang in there.
Former Hopeless One Has given you some great advice. Wish I had received it back when my H was where yours is.<p>I totally agree that the person your H is running from is himself. He is not really facing his problems. When he is with you the reality of his actions and the consequences of it smack him in the face, which of course would not at present match up to the fantasy he is living on fantasy island. What he doesn't realise yet is that the consequences aren't going to just vanish because he runs back.<p>He is deep in the fog. He is confused. <p>You are an incredibly strong person. You are hanging on to yourself, your dignity and your self worth so well. See from other's posts what an inspiration you are to so many of us. Sooner or later he will remeber waht an incredible woman you are. If he doesn't HE is the loser here.<p>No real advice here. Others can do it so much better than me. I just want you to know that you have support and that we all care.<p>It is morning here and I am off to Sydney later today. Good luck
C&S

Hi Forgiver, I'm glad your back on track with this and your doing well. We have to keep going with this, even when are hearts are breaking and we just want to give up.<p>C&S welcome to Sydney!