Hi, this is the first time I have ever posted a message of this type, but I feel really alone, and I need some advice.
My husband and I have been married for 23 years. It has been good, bad and in between. I can't say that I have never wanted out. I have flirted a bit and had a crush or two, but no affair.<p>My husband is very possessive. He has always suspected me of one thing or another and is very demanding of my time and attention, which as you might expect makes me squirm. <p>The problem though is that now the tables are turned. For the past two years I believe he has had an affair, and I don't think its the first time. I have no hard evidence. He left for work early, came home late. I kept finding things. He kept making nervous excuses. He wouldn't make plans for the future. <p>If I confront him with my suspicions, he blows--scary. I fought like hell to save our marriage. I have appologized for things I haven't done wrong. I have appealed to him on every level. Still there seemed to be an urgency for him to break up with me before Christmas.<p>Now, however, he has changed his tune. I think he broke it off with her. He comes home on time, leaves at the normal time, talks about the future again.<p>The question is, have I won or lost? Is it over? Will it happen again. He has never admitted it, never said he was sorry, denies it to this day. <p>I feel very alone. I don't trust him. I wanted to save my marriage--for a lot of reasons, but I don't want to go on, if it continues to go on. I don't know what to do.<p>I've read a lot about recovering from an affair. I believe it is possible, but I don't know how I will forgive him and heal while the greatest hurt is in the closet.
