All this time I've been trying to give him a glimps of how good life could be, he was already living it. Me on the other hand am miseriable. I smile on the outside, and cry on the inside. I am constantly reminded of H infidelity. Not only by doing his laundry, (lipstick & perfume on the thighs of his jeans), sparkles from makeup on the shoulders, and bottom front of his work shirts. The way he avoids me, when he gets home. I know it's because he was with OW. Today if he wasn't with her he won't ignor me. ( lucky me) Today I had maybe 6 guys who were looking at me, and given the chance they would have started talking to me, and who knows maybe I'll start up my own affair. Then he can feel what I feel. I would have no problem getting another man, he knows it. I think thats why he refuse's to tell me the truth. H knows that now after all his lying, and denying. I wouldn't be here long, wait no refrace that he would'nt be here long. I have MS, H married me knowing I was disabled, I still walk pretty good, but everyday is always the same. There have been times when I couldn't walk, or do much. However when I can I can do anything any other woman can do. Back to why I was telling you Im disabled. In our state if we divorce, and I can show fault do to say the truth, H infidelity, then H must pay everything he is paying now. I cannot work, therefore I cannot provided for myself or our child/children. H will have to pay mortgage, all utilities bills, all debts incurred by our chirldren, H will still be responicable for almost everything that he is now. So why would he tell me, he may make over $100,000 a year, but he couldn't live as well if he had to support us in the same manner, and have a second family, and I don't know if OW knows it. If he should get her pregnant, then I will have all the hard proof I need to really do a number on him. Yet I can't prove his affair with circumstancial eveidence. I need a someone with good standing who has witnessed the affair. I have tried the minni camera. H found it and broke it. I have tried the babyroom intercoms also found broken, now I an trying the small voice attivated voice recorder. I don't know why, I can't use it in court. I have called different private detectives, they all want an astranomical amout of money just forthe retainer, $900.00 and up... not to mention there 2hundered pluse per day, then milliage, tolls, if you want veido, or photographs. They want $110.00 just to tell you who a phone number belongs to. The industry of infidelity is so big you could make a fortune if your a private eye. How is a simple housewife or even if you are working, if your not making $100,000 yourself, your sunk. I think thats why they have no fault divorce. Who can afford all of this to prove fault. I haven't any friends or family to help me. So I am suppose to sit here and pretend to be happy, until someone who knows him decides to call me with real proof, or H screws up big time. I have been praying for the grace of God to help me now for more then 2 years. We have been to 4 marriage counselors who believe my husband, because he's gotten so good at lying by now. He tells them she is on a lot of medicines, and you know MS is nerologicaly dibilitating. So they believe him, it doesn't matter if I find new shirts in his closet 2 weeks after christmas, that I didn't give him, or the woman he's been seeing down the street, whos daughter is in our daughters class at school shows up there a new $500.00 suade jacket. When I mentioned this of course I got denial, but she never wore that jacket again any where I might run into her. How about when our 5 year old D can tel me her name, what city she lives in, what kind of car she drives, and where she works, then I see her at a local supermarket, where she works, driving past our home, with H two cars behind her as she lays on her horn staring into her rearview mirror. When the checker who I speak to tells me her name and what town she lives in, but yet he denies it, says D doesn't know what shes saying. Well then D must be pyschic. This isn't the first and only time D has said something to me about other woman. H is really screwing up her head, can I call child services for mental abuse. I should let them investacate this for mr. Let them speak to all the women D has told me about. I wonder if thats proof. I should really go back to the lawyer with this. I never thought about the legal aspects. The only thing that I fear is that if I should do that then husband will never get the help he needs, doesn't it say in the Bible, that if you someone is sinning and if you don't help them then you are just as gulity, and will be punished as well.
After all of this and more, I am expected to smilewhen he gets home, and play the happy wife, who's love is undying, even though Im treated like a doormat. I am suppose to be sexually attracted to him "still" I am at the end of my rope, with H and his lie's. He doesn't need a wife he needs a dog to wag it's tail for him. Not my love. What a fool I am, I wish I had family, or a place to go. I have asked him to leave, if he won't tell the truth, then why would he leave.
Any Advise Anyone????

TruthCer,<p>Plan A is not "being a slave" or "being nice at all cost". Please read and educate your self about MB. Basically you do no LB, and address all the issue(s) in M that under your control, that is you. If you just doing no LB and served him being a doormat w/o working on the issues your effort is futile and it is a matter of time before your taker will show up.<p>You could order checkmate to detect the present of s3m3n but it won't fly in the court either. Ask a close freind or family to snoop.<p>Did you rule out cross dressing ?<p>Please focus on your plan A and review it.

Dear Redhat,
Thankyou so much for the info, I just ordered it. I don't care if I can't use it in court. I just want something concret for my own self.
Then I will be able to move foward.
How this man calls himself a christian, and then goes out and sins is beyound me...
Bless you
I'll keep you in my prayiers.
TruthCer

TruthCer,
What are you going to do w/ this info ?. Suppose there is s3m3n on his underwear and he say that it is b/c of m@strub@t!ons, you are back to square one. In any case, calm down, let your anger subside for a while, do not do anything about it for a few days. Concentrate on reading MB and reviewing your plan A.<p>Snooping is only for you to know but not to confront or make H feels guilty about it.