Can anyone here explain how my WW can send me the following e-mail:<p>Just a quick note to say I'm thinking about you. Have a GOOD day. I'm so sorry for all of your heartache, I really am. I do love you and miss you. Love, Me.<p>And then,with her next computer keystrokes, send this note to OM:<p>i wish things were very different. How i wish you did find me a long time ago. This is too right to be a wrong thing between us. I love you, I am really missing you, I need you here with me.<p>Is this person from another planet???? Last night I gave her a poem I wrote about the great weekend we spent together. Tears came to her eyes, and she thanked me. I said that the poem should help her realize that we can have happy times. She said she knows that. I told her that sometimes I feel like things are hopeless, but God gets me thru. She said that "things are not hopeless". I then told her that my love for her is "right" and asked her if she really believed OM's love for her was "right". She hesitiated, then said no. She said that she knows what they are doing is wrong. That its a big mess. Then she said "Sometimes I..." and our D came in and she stopped and never finished the sentence. I didn't want to bring it up anymore so it was left hanging.<p>We went to sleep in each other's arms for the third straight nite. This is the most physical contact I've had with her for 4 months (since A started, I imagine).<p>Yet this AM, I'm sure she's back on-line with OM, like every day. And IM'ing him, and calling him.<p>WHAT IS GOING ON HERE????!!!!!!<p>I could use some wisdom, perhaps from a WS that has been in her position???<p>God Bless you all.<p>--------------------<p>* Together 22 years, married 16 (8/17/85)
* d-day 12/7/01
* 3 girls (27 (StepD) 15, 13)
* 2 GD's
* I am working plan A HARD

My guess is that it is the "want to have your cake
theory." She loves being married and you loving her and she loves having a lover loving her also.
It sounds like she has the best of both worlds.
She knows its wrong but it feels so right. As long as she feels there are no repercussions to her actions then my guess is that it will continue. I wonder what her actions would be if the roles were reversed? My guess is that she would never put up
with this situation. I wish you luck.

She is very confused. She is thinking of you, sorry she hurt you, wishing things were better, but not sure if/how they'll get that way. At the same time, she still fantasizes that if she had met OM when she was unencumbered by marriage, they would be "perfect" together.<p>My H was very torn for a couple of months. Knew that loving me was "right" but still unable to mentally "let go" of EA. It is called withdrawal, and it is a bad stage.<p>Keep doing what you are doing...it seems to be creating some closeness. I would tell her you feel that you two can best work on regaining your M if she will not contact OM, and (respectfully, no LBs) ask her to do so. If she tells you how much she misses him, listen as a friend would, tell her you are sorry she is in pain, and that you know this takes time, etc.<p>Kathi