boots,<p>Yes that is the danger of having a traditional conselor, it is a false logic. Sorry to hear that. Now, how is your plan A so far ?. What are the issues that your H has and how far you have working on it ?. Could you guess his EN ?. It will take time for Dv to be finalize and let him calculate the $ and ¢ . Have this A been expose to the day light ?. otherwise H will still enjoy his fog.<p>[ February 09, 2002: Message edited by: redhat ]</p>

Birdinacage.......Until the shoe is on the other foot......and you have someone do what you're talking about.....you have NO idea the pain it causes ..to give your life to someone you trust completely .....to find out they've given what was given to you....to someone else.....I know men look at this differently than us women...some do anyway....but its the intimate part of this that you think only the 2 of you have.....When that is violated.... its like someone has come into your bedroom.....your heart....your soul......It hurts worse than any physical wound ever could....for one thing...physical.....you can see and treat.....the heart......you might forgive..but can never be put back like it was before....I know Im going on here....but just to think that being able to be with more one than one person.......there is no way you can completely give to a relationship like that....I really hope you dont ever have to suffer the pain most here are suffering.....I wouldnt wish this on my worse enemy.......but sad thing is......what goes around comes around...like my Grandmother always said......God DONT Sleep.........I really wish you the best....Hopefully one day will find that someone that means more than all the others out there......Take care......Linda

One A has been exposed,he claims that this is when he started questioning his love for me,almost 2 years ago. He is still totally denying any innapropiate involvment with this OW. I am trying desperately to stick with plan A,,its not easy. Truly at the point,,where im resolved,,a big *whatever*...were supposed to go over the papers tomorrow,,and he is comeing to remove te rest of his personal things,,im sure its going to be a looong morning.

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by boots:
<strong>One A has been exposed,he claims that this is when he started questioning his love for me,almost 2 years ago. He is still totally denying any innapropiate involvment with this OW. I am trying desperately to stick with plan A,,its not easy. Truly at the point,,where im resolved,,a big *whatever*...were supposed to go over the papers tomorrow,,and he is comeing to remove te rest of his personal things,,im sure its going to be a looong morning.</strong><hr></blockquote><p>{{{{((((HUG))))}}}}, be strong boots. Pray and fast for tommorow. Be a good wife and help him to remove his stuff. Do not LB'ed, you want H to see you at your best. No anger or judgement or demand. Rehearsh what the setting tommorow and how to react and answer. You have take it one day at a time. Keep us posted as the day progressing tommorow.

HMMMMM?
well our meeting went well I suppose...we were civil,,,he took his stuff,,then we sat down a tthe kitche table with the paperwork,,*sigh* I dont understand how he can be so flippant.He was actually going to have me help him fill it all out!!? I laughed and said *no way*,,you want this,not me,,lol..he took it good naturedly...seems that the $ part is already bugging him,,giggles,,maybe a start? He also brought up the child support alimony concerns and things about our house,,im still kind of confused on how our chat went,,lol,,

boots,<p>Hey, as long as there is no LB, you take yourself out of his way. He will start looking the ramification of his actions, specially $$. Do not give a budge on the $, it is not LB but you need to protect yourself and your kids. Save some money, let a lawyer to "review" what his fills out to make sure you are not taken by him.<p>Watch out for late effect on your emotions, this is a 'coaster ride after all.

Well,,,valenties day sucked,,just spent the last 20 minutes crying,,,H just dropped son off,and of course couldnt be bothered to get something for mommy from our son. Honestly,I think i am learning to hate him. I know that I was the bigger person,getting him something from Cody,,but damn it hurts...

Boots,
Sorry your having a bad Valentines. I think you are on the right track with H. A dose of reality clears some fog.
You will have quality time to spend alone with your son now, make the most of it. No H to cook for ? hotdogs will now be a hit. Salmon patties look gourmet.No extra laundry. Peace and quiet.
Birdinacage - Are you a guy or a girl???????

Boots,<p>Hang in there boots, don't take it personally. H is in his fog & could not think clear at all. Concentrate on your son and nothing that you do or don't do make H behave like this. H made his choice, let him go, he will have to make his own decision to come back. Give it time, they will start to think ... make sure you are ready as a better choice.<p>sadprincess,
Birdinacage has some posts in GQII. She has post Anguished in A and need a friend here.

You guys are awesome...thanks!!!!

A super therapy session today,,im pleased,,,There will be no more divorce therapy sessions with H..ive decided to continue with individual,,alone,,lol,,There were no angry words,,just got a lot out on the table,,maybe it is the start of me [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] Only time will tell?

Boots,
"The start of me" hmm I like the way that sounds. [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

well, I guess I got what i was looking for,,,H was caught red handed,,kissing and fondeling his GF,,,,a few hours after he again told me,that they were just friends,,*ugh*...Im talking to my lawyer,,,and im going to file. at this point I dont even like him as a human being,and am probably am as clear headed as Ive been,in months..I see lots of new doors opening for me,,, [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Boots,
Ouch, sorry . I know in a way it had to liberate you to finally KNOW. But at the same time eeew sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I really like the sound of "the start of me" I think it is a good you. Dont give up totally on H, you never know what the future holds. People can truely change.
For now though I am proud of you.

boots,<p>Please go to plan B ... write H a plan B letter and give it to GF too. Do not file ... yet. Give it time for plan B to work out.<p>In their selfishness, WS could do almost anything, do not take it personally. If you start hurting and reject WS probably it is time to go plan B.<p>Hang in there a little longer.

Well,,,Im going to plan B,,not sure if it will even matter tho,,he keeps denying any involvement still,even tho he was caught. He is still in a fog. His remark to me was *weve discussed dateing after our divorce was final* ACKKK,,this was just hours before he was caught,,LOL,,,I am pretty sure there liveing together. Then he said he was unfaithful the first time,because i was supicious? Seems like he is trying to lay blame where there is none? I dont know,,,

boots,<p>It will matter ... it will matter for you to learn to live by yourself and for him to realize it. Don't let WS put blame on you for the A ... the conditions, maybe but not walking into A. Stay strong, get your support system working, be with close family or freinds.

Boots, I want you to remember the look on his face the first time he realizes you are going to be ok without him. It's very impowering.<p>[ March 06, 2002: Message edited by: sadprincess ]</p>

Yoohoo, Bootsie
Having so much fun you cant check in?
Hope so.

hehehe,,well yeah,,had a cool weekend,,,had a house party friday night,,woohoo,,surrounded myself with friends,,then sat.night I went out [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] ,,I bought push up bra,and naughty cleavage baring shirt,,and some mean looking blackboots,,lol,,I had an awesome time,,just so happens i got home around 730 am sunday,,,same time WH was bringing our son home,,lol,needless to say he didnt take his eyes of my breasts,,lol I dont think he much cared for it,,hehehe and left in a huff,,point made and taken [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]