I am new and need advice. My husband had an affair, with someone much younger and I hate to say it ..very good looking. It took a lot of work but she has left our lives, after two years. My H now seems to be into hookers. I found out when he left this page up on the computer. This is a all male club and you have to be privite member...well as luck would have it I got in!!!! Well you guesed it, he is a active member..very. So I copied this info. onto my computer and put under games for my daughter..he found it all last night. He has not said a word, but is acting very different.But latley I have been asking him if he has been seeing these ladies...the answer always NO. My question is what do I say or do if anything? By the way I love him very much..and I do understandwhy the affair happened (alot of history on my part) but this I don't understand. Thanks Gemini54

gemini54,<p>Welcome to MB. Please learn as much as you can about MB by following the link on my signature below.<p>There are some keyboad tracking like SpectorSoft or iopus that you could use.<p>However like you say there might be an underlying problem, it could be a sexual addiction.

Thank-you for the reading material, It's been very helpful. It's nice to have the inside scoop on my H, I know the problems he has are not mine, and until he comes clean w/ himself and his inter -self there is no hope for him. So, I am getting on with my life. IT FEELS GREAT....One day soon I will get into my history w/ the members, I'm not quite ready. Gemini54 P.S. The tracking ....I have a mac not a PC , any info?????

Gemini,
Hey, I wanted to let you know that youre not alone here. I want to stress to you that snooping can really hurt. I know i've been there. Some of the info that you might learn can really be disturbing. So I guess you need to ask yourself one question, are you prepared for what you may find out. If the answer is no then just really focus your attention on planA and try to fix the problems at hand instead of digging. <p>I have a program called Spector. It is a great program. I am not sure if it is available foe mac. Although it probably is. It is totally undetectiable to any one usuing your computer. It also was pretty cheap. But it really works.<p>Good luck, Ill check back on ya tomorrow. [img]images/icons/cool.gif" border="0[/img]

gemini54, I am a Spector user and I have some good news...Spector is available for the Macintosh. It is fully compatible with G3 and G4 processor-based Macintosh computers running Mac OS 8.0 - 9.x. Spector does not currently support Mac OS X. You can download, install and start recording your Mac and Internet activity in less than 10 minutes by going here:<p>Spector Software for Mac Users<p>When you snoop, you usually find a lot of information that is very painful to deal with. Be prepared for it. I wish I would have taken a week or so to record what my H was doing on our PC. I found out a heck of a lot in just one evening of recording...user names and passowrds, web sites visited and who he chatted with and what they chatted about. He was doing this til 3 or 4 in the morning, sometimes later while me and our four kids slept. I think he is a sexual addict. We are in marital counselling and it is going okay.<p>Anyway, it is easy to become obsessive about snooping when there are clues right under your nose. For example, I just looked through my H's wallet one morning and found a phone card with OW's phone numbers on a post it note. If you have a cell phone, look over the detailed phone records, either on the bill you get at home or look them up on the net if he conceals those bills from you.<p>The info you find from snooping is very hard but I came to realize that if I wanted to know the truth and protect myself and my kids, I had to snoop and not expect my H to tell me the truth since he developed the ability to look at me and flat out lie to me.<p>Bluebird
(resident Marriage Builder Cybersnoop)

Remember that there are plus and minuses to snooping, I am finding that out the hard way...Just be prepared to find tings out that you may NOT want to know, I just don't want your already wounded heart to get stabbed at again.

I'm confused...please tell me that you didn't mean that you copied the gentleman's club info onto a program that your daughter uses? I must be really off it tonight.<p>Tell me I've misunderstood as usual.

I thought the very same thing diddallas! <p>Please gemini, if you haven't done so already, get it outta there!!!!!!!!!!!<p>Love and light,<p>Jacky