OK heres my story. Discovered EA on 1-1-02. Tried to work it out for about a week, but I guess the withdrawal was too much. I feel good knowing that I really did try. I can understand (only after reading here MANY times) how an affair happened. H got his own apt. today. Has not moved out yet. He says he loves me, just not the way he use to, hes confused right now, doesnt know if he wants me anymore, or wants to be with her. The only thing we have left in our marriage are our 2 DD and good sex. I can tell it upsets him to go, but it is his decision. He tells me he knows I tried to change things that made him unhappy, but its not me, its him. He doesnt know what he wants. This hurts like hell, but I have no control. I just have no clue what to do now. Keeping in mind that I love him very much, do I back up, let him do what he thinks he needs to do, and hope he realizes it a mistake? Do I continue to have sex with him? I just feel like if I refuse him, he may also have this EN filled elsewhere too. Or does this just allow him to keep the best of both worlds? Or do I just say ok its over, grieve, and move on. I want my marriage to work out, but I dont want to hold on to false hope. And I dont want to be so "nice" that it just makes everything easier for him. I will see him several times weekly, because of our kids. How should I act. Like Im perfectly happy without him and like everything is fine, or keep expressing what a mistake this is and how we should at least put forth true effort? I dont want to push him away, but I dont want him to get so comfortable with my kindness that being apart is satisfing enough. How long do I wait for him to "decide" if he wants me or not? Do I file for divorce, if so when?? I am just numb right now and need any advice!!! <p>heather
