H and I had a discussion tonight.....and during he decides to tell me he lied about where he met OW........He had said at a bike night......now its a lounge...dance........went home with her first night......I am even more devasated than before .....Reacting totally different......this time I am soooooo mad...Wanted to kill him..I just dont know if I can ever get over all this..Was just feeling better bout...images werent as bad....trust was a little bit..and now.......back to square one..if not worse than that..I dont know what to do....Told him I wanted a divorce..He is on the sofa right now......told him didnt want him in the bed....Got physically sick when he told me all this..Am I over reacting here.......Just so hurt all over again..........Linda

Linda,
Are you working on your M with MB principals? Has he agreed to do this also? I personally don't see how you can rebuild until you know the WHOLE truth. My WH tried to confess and withold information and as I learned more I just wanted to strangle him! [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] I finally kept him up all night and asked every disgusting question that I could think of. It WAS a horrible night, but for me, until I knew everything I could not possibly begin to rebuild our relationship. (M 23 years) The details made him squirm (too bad) but it was the only way that I could move on. MC had advised him NOT to tell me everything because it would be too hard on me. BS! That came from a man who gasve my H the advice he wanted to hear. Only you know what it will take for your situation, let him know and then demand total honesty! Prayers to you, Ladysing [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Thank you Ladysing for your post. We have been working on M for about 5 wks now, then got into discussion about him selling his bike, me thinking it has caused problems, and that s when he told me news bout how OW was met. He was very remorseful about it. Said had been bothering him and had to say to wipe the slate clean, as he put it, to be able to move on. Was very hard on me that night and yesterday. Then someone told me, well he didnt have to offer that information at all, so take it, forgive and try and move on. So thought about that, and trying to do that. Just all the images I was just now getting past, all came back, and hurt so badly. But, wipe eyes, and pick up the pieces, and trying to move forward one more time. Anyway, thank you again, and you're right, honestly is best,even though sometimes it hurts. Just have to get past it. Take care...Linda

Linda,
Hope you had a good Sunday. As far as picking up the pieces and taking one day at a time, keep it up. I do think that you would benefit from some of the books on the bookstore site. I ordered HN/HN, and my H read it also, it has helped us so much. Others have recommended Torn Usunder and Surviving an affair. For me, reading books and posting here has saved my sanity. Knowing that my rollercoaster emotions and unstable feelings were normal kept me from going off the deep end.
Prayers to you, Ladysing [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

Linda S.,
Tell your H that you need it for your own healing in M. One of the four gifts of love is Radical Honesty. It hurts but you know your spouse better and you know how to help him to protect his weakness.<p>Did he agree to sell the bike ?.

Hi Redhat.....I was so upset after him telling me this.....it was like him telling me he had had another A...I think he saw by my reaction.. how important it is to be honest...Yes he agreed to sell the bike....Thats why he decided to tell me what he did.......thought that would change my mind since the A had nothing to do with the bike.... ..but it didnt change my mind......We seem to be back on track again.....Im not one to hold a grudge. still hurts alot....Something will be said or will see something that will bring all of it back again...the images all came back ....so having to deal with that......trying to just put them away....hard......but working on it....Thanks for ya'll caring and responding to me.......Take care......Linda