Just found an incredible book and only wish I had found it about 6 months go. I had to write and let all of you know about it. If your significant other has lied to you, it will help you deal with all the feelings and grief and help you to understand the mind of a liar. It also can help you decide whether to leave the relationship or stay and all the emotions attached to that. I highly recommend this book to everyone in this position. My biggest problem is always knowing the right thing to say. This book will help you through the confrontation and help you to prepare for the other person's response as well as help you with the timing of the confrontation.<p>The title of the book is "When Your Lover is a Liar". I know the author has a PhD and is a woman, but I'm sorry I don't remember the name.<p>Please check this book out. I can't believe how much it has helped me sort through everything.<p>For those who read or have read it, please keep me posted as to whether you've found it helpful.

Sad1,<p>Thank you for the recommendation! I am moving to Plan D because my WH is pathological in my eyes. I'll be out looking for the book.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/search-handle-form/103-6806859-9224620<p>When Your Lover Is a Liar : Healing the Wounds of Deception and Betrayal by Susan Forward, Donna Frazier (Contributor)

Hello,
where can i find that book? is it here? or do u have no order it? i hope not (H) is laid off work and have NO MONEY!!!!!!!!thanks Cathy

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by in the dark_45:
<strong>Hello,
where can i find that book? is it here? or do u have no order it? i hope not (H) is laid off work and have NO MONEY!!!!!!!!thanks Cathy</strong><hr></blockquote>
Local Library should carries it or go to B&N or Border, they allows you to thumb through it. I use to go and just read them w/ a cup of latte.<p>Your sig. catch my eyes ... Have you read "Love must be tough" by Dobson ?. Some WS can not cry before they see their coffins, trying to plan A will not work.<p>Good luck.

I bought this book just a couple of weeks ago but when I began reading it, it was too painful and just brought up ugly feelings. I've put it away for now until I can read it without weeping, but I think it is a good book! Too many truths that hit too close to home, I guess.

I bought it in the beginning and then put it down after reading about half way through... also I trhink it was showing me JUST HOW BAD HE REALLY IS! I wanted to save marriage, so I guess I put back on my rose colored glasses and looked at things as I wished they could be. I really think it is horrid that this had to happen, but unfortunatley, I have found out about the yrs of lies he has been telling me. Hugs, HONEY

Honey,<p>Please read father. 3/4 of the way through are great exercises to help you get rid of some of the emotions. I know it's hard to read about the minds of liars and recognize our own situations in the case examples she provides, but sometimes I feel better just knowing that there reasons beyond my control for the WS's lying, hiding, and manipulating. It also helps to look at what she's written about the options we have and what to expect/do when we make a decision. I've swept WS's lying under the rug and tried to get past it too many times to do the same this time. I'm making a stand this time, and if it means I have to leave this relationship in order to have peace of mind and someone who really loves me, so be it. If I never find that person, that's a chance I'm willing to take, because persons in my life who love me do not repeatedly lie to me. I've been with my WS for over half my life at this point, and I don't intend to spend the next half with that kicked in the stomach feeling from having caught WS in a lie. I have better things to do with my time than having to play detective, and if S can't stop lying, I'm on my way to better things.

To Free2BMe,<p>If that's where you're at, which is about where I am, I think this book will help you a lot. Because lying and thinking the way liars do is so foreign to me, I have this need to understand things before I can make decisions. This book has helped me immensely in that area. Also, there's a chapter about what to do/expect if you leave and another about what to do/expect if you stay, and advice on how to work through your emotions in both instances.<p>I haven't read the whole book yet, but when I am finished I am going to start the exercises. I read about them, and believe they will be extremely cathartic for me. I hope the book helps you as much. Good luck and keep me posted.

I just finished this book (except for the exercises) and I did not find it all that helpful except for the part about sociopath liars. I fear that my WW may be such. [img]images/icons/frown.gif" border="0[/img]

I have read this and it seemed to me like the author was pissed off while she was writing it. I am pissed off enough already, I really don't need someone to make me even angrier. Just my opinion.

Searched the library catalog.....checking it out today.
Update later....<p>Cerri..............The Library Lurker