I posted a lot on here around X-mas. I found out my H of 8 yrs. was having an A with a co-worker(Nov. 1,2001) We went to counceling, the whole nine yards. H said they were "just friends". On X-mas eve I went through his e-mail and found out different. (Merry X-mas to me) Anyway, a barrage of lies ensued, yada,yada,yada, he moved out Monday. In the meantime I thought he was snorting.(cocaine)Everytime I accused him, he said I was crazy...I found a razor blade and a straw in his laptop bag, and even when confronted with this, told me it was for No-Doze. I got the straw tested,(which came back positive for coke) and he tells me now, that it was an isolated incident. This behavior started when he started seeing OW. He got the "stuff" from another co-worker who is also his bosses son. In the meantime he is supposed to take the kids this weekend. I'm not sure what to do. He is in complete denial over everything. The A, the OW, the lies, and the coke. I never had to deal with any of this before, especially the drugs. What should i do???<p>[ February 28, 2002: Message edited by: ARPOW ]<p>[ February 28, 2002: Message edited by: ARPOW ]</p>

You must protect yourself at all cost!<p>This is not a matter of saving your marriage...
...but your life.<p>You must separate...
...as quickly as possible.
If there are children involved... the quicker the better.<p>He has not yet hit rock bottom... but in time he will.
Your job is to protect your life...
...above all else.<p>Do consider seeing an attorney of legal/financial advice. Check out Martindale-Hubbell Lawyer Search
You really need to protect yourself legally (and/or financially)... I usually make the recommendation of finding a good attorney. A good place to start off is at the Martindale-Hubbell Lawyer Search site. Do a search within your county... look for only "family law" specialists(>80% in family/divorce/custody/etc.)... make sure they do a lot of "family law committee work"... if they know the judges all the better... You can normally find a few that will give initial counseling free of charge.
USLaw.com (an alternative search site)<p>I'm praying for you.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jim/NSR

Arpow,
Hi, i a'm going through the very same thing as fas as drugs and coke with my H. He has denied his using as well.And i also fount razor blades hidden in the car,when confronted with this to H he said oh yeah, and then laughed at me. as well as tried to tell me he used them razor blades for work. [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] . Have u noticed any changes in him? I have mine. 1 day he seems ok kinda sweet then the next day on edge. Also he seems to get upset easy,as well he gets depressed. I have noticed also he goes out alot, and spends time with his friend that before he never did. I would like to talk to u more about this as i think we will be able to help each outher. Here is my e-mail address if u would like to talk to me.
mcjackson58@hotmail.com my name is Cathy

I droped off the boys last night for their first weekend with H. While I was saying good-bye H's phone rang, H's attitude changed as he talked and told whoever it was "they just got here, yea, I'll have to call you back." I knew it was OW. He said it was a male co-worker. My heart broke in a million peices. He was so cocky telling me how peacefull it was living alone (as I cry myself to sleep every night, missing him) When he moved out he gave me the impression it was temporary, last night his cocky comments told me different. Does this get easier? Do I have any right to tell H I don't want OW around my boys right now, not untill they get used to the idea of mommy & daddy not living in the same house? Do I have the right to tell him not to talk on the phone with her while they are around? He has Mon-Fri to "talk" to her. The weekend should be spent with his kids, not going out of his way to impress HER. Am I wrong? Anyone?