Hey all,<p>I am still on this rollercoaster ride of where I am not sure if W will set up a new email account and start talking with OM. I did find out this morning that she was planning or has opened a new email account. I did not confront her about it, rather I talked with her and felt that we have not been open with each other about what was going on.<p>After talking for sometime she did tell me that she opened a new account. I was glad that she was honest about this, but I cannot help to think that she will soon be chatting with OM. I am still confused if she is really having some type of EA with this OM. Our reltionship to this day is still pretty strong. Meaning that she is not pulling away from me E and P. The past six months or more have been pretty good in both areas. W has known OM for less than that. <p>OM lives in another state (west coast). I do not see any chance of this thing, if it is still going on of ever being a PA. We have had our talks and W says she has no intentions of ever leaving me for another man, let alone this OM. W says he is a nice guy but that is all. Asked W why she never told Om that he is crossing the line with some of his emails, W says she has and that she cannot control what he says. This is where I told W that she needs to be clear with OM and say that this is only a friendship thing. A majority part of me believes that she does not mean or intend for this thing to be any more than that, but W has not drawn the line with OM. <p>I have told W that she can have has many male friends as she wants. But when they start crossing the line between friendship and wanting more from the relationship, then that is where you know they do not or never intended on being friends. SO OM in my eyes is clearly out to be more than friends with her( no question about that). I just hope that she does not rely on OM for some type of emotional support or to make her feel good. Even without being in a PA it can still destroy a marriage. <p>Going forward we plan to be more open with each other and if OM comes into the picture again, then we will have some major problems again. Hopefully when we talk tonight we will get an understanding of each others needs and put OM out of our lives. It's really up to W to end this thing!<p>I still cannot ever see W being involved in an A. Not living in denial, but W has high morals and standards. Just like I had the gut feeling that she was having some type of relationship with this OM, I have that same feelig that she will never do anything that will destroy our marriage. <p>If my gut feeling is right, then I am over reacting. For now I am still sorting this thing out in my head.<p>Still confused after 1 week

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> <hr></blockquote>I have told W that she can have has many male friends as she wants.<p>Dude, this is one collosal mistake in my books. Male friends are opposite sex freinds, trap doors that may get tripped soon. And as for you wife being above an affair because of her high morals and standards - u should read through some of these posts. Many WS have spoken about how "out of character" it was for them to do it - yet they do.<p>Something else too; u have means to see the conent of their conversations on email - install spector and eblaster. I think it's only for PC based computers so if u run a MAC you may be sh**t out of luck.<p>Dude if you think something up, your propably right. Are you an unreasonably jealous man? I don't get that vibe from you. I see a man who needs answers. U can get the answers - right down to tracking devices in her car, buggin her workplace - I know how James Bond it is, but the truth is it is neccessary affair research.<p>Take charge of this. If there is something going on you have to investigate and find out on your own for your sake

I am not sure about anything that is going on. You can pretty much tell that from my rambling on in these posts. <p>Not sure if I wnat to go the route of tracking emails and what ever else she does on the computer.<p>Not going to give up the fight, but I plan to be more alert to what's going on between us and see if there is anything that just does not look or feel right. I have a feeling that our long talk from this morning will continue tonight. Maybe I will work out tonight before we chat. That always helps to clear the mind.<p>Thanks

SW, my H made contact with a woman who he said he confided about our marital problems with. He said she had her own R problems and was a friend he would talk to every now and then- that was after I found an sms message from her saying 'please, I want to see you again' friends only - p-lease!<p>My H&I have been married for 10 years, he has always been critical of people who are unfaithful, so I never dreamt he would EVER do this to me.<p>Do not ignore the power of an EA or think that distance will keep them apart. My H is now planning to take a holiday by himself and go to Bangkok to visit her! He got an $8,000 limit on a credit card (which I am not supposed to know about)to do this. If I hadn't snooped, I wouldn't have found this out. Now at least I have some legal advice about this, and its made me feel a little more comfortable. I can only hope now that he will come to his senses before he goes there.<p>Good luck and take care. The spy software is not a bad idea, just be prepared for what u will find as it often hurts!

Ditto... I agree with most of what I read... EA start with just freinds.. and most of the guys on line are looking for more than a friend. I know.. believe me. Perhaps its just an ego thing to your wife but never the less.. these types of relationships can become very harmful...You just never know which Tom [censored] or Harry is the one that will really pull her chain and turn her head. May I say that I have been a preachers wife for 28 years and I found myself getting involved IN things on line that I know were wrong but the Devil knows how to fog our thoughts and lure us into his trap... He does it slowing and seemingly innocent. This has become the Devils greatest tool... we need to wake up america. We spend way too much time in our own little fantacy world ...mean while the real world which includes our families are dieing before our very eyes. Also... as far as high moral standards... my husband has always had very high standards... and guess who has been in an affrair since August...>>> Yep my husband with a member at church no less!!!! He has lost everything for her his job... self respect and the respect of his kids and family... financial poverity ... love for me.. but more important.. he has broken off his relationship with God. No one is safe from the tempter. Take heed .... when you think you are strong thats when you will FALL. !

The fact that you even have to have a conversation with somebody about a member of the opposite sex being "just friends" is an indicator that something could go wrong. My husband's A started out that way with a "friend" at work. They were just having drinks to discuss work problems, she needed a friend, she needed a mentor, etc. etc. If I had paid attention to my gut last spring, this wouldn't have gotten as far as it has. <p>I'm not saying you can't be friends with the opposite sex, but you should be curious if they spend lots of time together alone or if it sounds as if they are discussing things that the two of you don't discuss anymore. I think I'm sounding paranoid, but it's better to be a little bit vigilant and involved than to experience the pain most of us are going through now. I feel like a real dodo.

Talk to your W before this gets out of hand!!! Like I said on another thread, an EA is much more sinister, particularly when women are lured into them, than a PA, since SF isn't usually a high priority for women. This is how my W's A started. Eventually, it could become a PA, but the real damage to you and your relationship, quite frankly, is about to start unless you talk openly about your concerns and her ENs, and GET COUNSELING! Don't let things get out of control. You won't believe the pain that can come of an EA.