Hello everyone:<p>I am so gratefull to all of you who wrote be back.
I would feel much more miserable if I didn't find this website.
As I said before my husband IS GOING to meet other woman no matter what.
You suggested me just let him go and see what happens.
I continue finding out that she calls him and they talk sweet talks while I am not at home.
And he says her that he is on a seventh cloud when he hears her voice.
Please advise me how should I react on this?
Should I demand them not to talk to each other or should I just not to do anything right now?
I said my husband that after he comes back he will have to decide whom he chooses. And if he wants to build a strong marriage then he should stop communicating with that woman. He said OK, maybe he will stop communicate. But he doesn't know will he even tell that woman that they should stop to communicate. They just might continue talk to each other on a telephone but I will not even know about it. Right now I can find out it from his words on the Internet. But he might just stop saying anything on the Internet and just talk on telephone.
So what left for me is life without any trust.
I don't have any mood even to work on our marriage knowing that he loves her but not me.
I cann't allow myself to be too upset right now because I am probably pregnant.
And I don't know if I can use an antideppression medication. So I am trying very hard to stay calm.<p>Thank you all for your calming words.

There are anti-depressant medications that you can take when you are pregnant. Please see a good doctor and get professional advice on what medication is safe.<p>Have you read "Torn Asunder"? Carder, unlike Harley, suggests immediately telling the WS that he/she needs to make a choice RIGHT NOW about working on the M or continuing the A. He also advises that in order to do this, you have mean it. If your H chooses the A, then you must be prepared to ask your H to leave your home immediately and take steps to force the issue, if necessary.<p>I guess what I am saying is if you demand that your H not talk to OW and he replies that he is going to continue to talk to her as he pleases, then what will you do? If your response is then to just back off, you are giving him the message that your requests can be ignored without any consequences. If you are not prepared to back up a demand with action, then you are probably best not to make the demand at all, IMHO.<p>For your information, on d-day I did ask my H to make a choice, but he insisted that there was no A, 'just a friendship' that he would not give up. A week later, he told me he had met with her and told her that he could not see her 'even as a friend' because it would prevent him from working on his M. When I discovered that the A had resumed, I immediately asked my H to make a choice. His response was that he wanted to 'move out and think about what he wanted in his life'; my response was to say that 'thinking it over on his own' was simply not a choice, he was not going to continue with an A under my nose; after a long discussion, he chose to end the A and work at our M.<p>Of course, as is often the case with As, it was not as simple as that. There was continued contact which complicated everything and caused more damage. But, that is another story altogether.<p>Before you do anything, I would suggest that you reflect on what you can live with.<p>I am sorry for your pain. Hugs to you.<p>[ March 05, 2002: Message edited by: OneDay ]</p>

A bump to the top and my prayers for you, Tanya.