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Online to have an affair
#411790 03/07/02 08:43 PM
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 2
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tjay
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tjay
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 2
For 23 years I've had a really good marriage. 3children, 2 are grown and 1 at home. Two months ago I found my husband had not logged off completely and had subscribed to 2 different sites that were for married people to meet other married people for "fun and discreet sex". After confronting him, he did not denie it but said nothing had happened and he would not every get back into those sites. I'm not sure how to trust him again as I found out he had done this for 2 months and he is out of town 3 days every week. Also, for soneone that knows very little about computers, he knows enough to delete the history. I now wonder if he has been faithful for 23 years or am I beeing played the fool? Would love to have anyone in the same situation to e-mail me. Sure could use your advice. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]
Re: Online to have an affair
#411791 03/07/02 11:10 PM
Joined: Sep 1999
Posts: 5,406
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NSR Offline
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NSR
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Counseling would be advisable...<p>If you're following the MB "concepts"...
...one you (and your H) doesn't want to miss is...<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Privacy isn't something that improves marriages, It's honesty and openness that improves marriages. (page 41 of SAA)<hr></blockquote><p>and do check out...[*] The Rule of Honesty: Be totally open and honest with your spouse.<p>Your spouse should do eveything possible (not earse history... encourge you using snooping software etc... ) to retsore your trust in him. And get a counselor that agrees with this philosophy.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jim/NSR
Re: Online to have an affair
#411792 03/08/02 01:57 AM
Joined: Mar 2001
Posts: 118
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RustyZ Offline
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RustyZ
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Posts: 118
tjay,
There's no reason to delete the history unless there something to hide. Sad but true! Like NSR says, privacy is not a positive marriage attribute. I think it's time for a very frank, honest, but non-lovebusting converstion with your H about this. Read the articles on this site, please! Lots of good advice here.
Re: Online to have an affair
#411793 03/08/02 02:07 AM
Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 235
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asgoodasitgets Offline
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asgoodasitgets
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Joined: Aug 2001
Posts: 235
Couldn't agree more with the advice you've been given so far, Tjay. On the issue with finding a counselor whose methods work in harmony with the MB principles: I asked my C to visit the website. He was amazed by the wealth of information he found to read and absorb and found he agreed with most of it. This has been a great thing for me, as I find the MB principles very powerful and helpful.<p>Best of luck, and keep posting.

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