The pain, sadness, hurting so deep. She had me removed from my home with an Order Of Protection. That night I drive by my home just to look at the house I built for her and I see a vehicle parked near my house. I know everyone who lives on my street so this has to be someone at my home. I go to her place of employment the next morning and see this same vehicle parked in the lot. I exchange my vehicle for a friend with dark tinted windows and park in the lot to find out just who the mystery man is. After about an hour of watching the vehicle he walk over to the vehicle. Gotch'a I think but in reality I’m the one who was got. He had been sleeping with my wife and this time was the worst pain of all because she had her lover in my bed in my home. All I could think about was to “KILL” him. I returned to my home the next night to talk to her. I did not give her all the keys to the house so I came in and just stood over her. As she felt the presence of someone in the room with her, she awoke with a very loud yell. I said calm down; I’m not here to hurt you, only to talk. She replied “OKAY”. I asked her if she was going to call the police because I was not to be in or near the house, she stated no and asked what did I want to talk about. I said the man who stayed in my home last night. She said that it was an off limits subject. I asked if they had made love in my room, in my bed with my son in the house. She said that she would not answer the question. I said okay and asked if my marriage was over. She stated that she didn’t know that there had been so much pain, hurt from me. This was a total shock to me. I had only loved her and then I started to think about the friends that she had started hanging out with. I said okay, gave her one of the keys to the house that I had and left. As I drove around my city about 5 nights later I past the vehicle that she was driving about 10:30 PM. I wondered where she could be going this time of the night and where was my son. I drove past my home again and the reflection from my sons TV was present in his room so I then knew that she had left him home alone to go and do what ever she going to do. I knew where her friend lived so I parked in a drive down from his house. Two minutes after I arrived the light went on in his vehicle. I waited until he had made his turn at the stop sign and then I drove off. He made the turn at the corner of the friend that my wife had been hanging with so I drove to enter the street from another direction but I was to late. Her vehicle was parked in the drive and his was no where insight. I looked at the house as if she maybe only came to visit her friend but the only light on in the house was in the kitchen. She had parked the vehicle in the drive to try and slip me. How soon she forgets that I’m a trained tracker and killer By the Army. I drove around at some of the hotels in the city, never giving the thought that he would return home with her. After all he was living in his girlfriends house that was on military leave. I returned to his house to see his vehicle parked in the drive. I parked down the street and walk to the house. As I walked around the house I could see that the vertical blinds where separated in places so I looked into the house and noticed my wife and him on the couch. Lying there as if they were in love watching a movie. At that moment I hit rock bottom. I had seen with my own eyes my wife in the arms of another man. I looked for a few moments then I decided to call her cell phone. She looked at my number and just let it ring. I called three times and she would not answer. Each time I stated that I was looking at her through the window. She then turned off the phone and they continued to watch the movie. I decided to enter the house and kill them both so I entered a bedroom window and stood in the hall looking at them both and the movie. I start to think about my son so I just returned to the bedroom to take personal items of his. I took his money, house keys and his military ID and went back out the window. As I got out of the house a female approached the house drinking a beer. She knocked on the door and they sprang to their feet as if it was I at the door. He looked out the blinds over the wall to see that it another female that he had been doing. She to is married and her husband had been deployed in support of the war on terrorism. I walked around the house to meet her. I asked whom she had come to see? She answered the name of the man that was inside with my wife. She said I think he’s not home. I said that he is home, just inside on the couch with my wife. I told her to go back to the door and knock again. She did so and as I looked though the window they ignored her so I hit the window as she knocked on the door. At this time my phone rang. It was my wife sounding very scared asking me to stop hitting the window. She called about three times before I would answer the phone. She called again and I stated that the had just cost him his life, I was on my way to get my guns and return. She said please no and asked for me to come to the house and talk to her, she had let me talk to her and now she wanted to talk to me. I said that there was nothing to talk about, that I had seen all with my eyes and had I waited longer to make my move I would have even witnessed them having sex. She said please so I said in thirty minutes I would be there I had to go and pick up my friends so that I could regulate. This situation with us to night was over but the whole thing was far from over. As we sat on my couch she said that she was lonely and he had been after her for a long time. I told her that I had talk to him and asked him man to man if he had been having sex with her and he said no and stated to me “ After this all dies down you should work on your marriage”. A total deceptive move. This made me loose any respect that I had for him as a man and truly hate him. I went to his job the next day to see if he was a man and he confessed everything to me, even things that she would not state. I looked him in the eyes and said you truly owe your life to me and he looked at me with a sort of smile on his face. I said that I was going to kill you last night but all I could do was think about my son. I then reached into my cargo pocket and handed him a plastic bag. As he looked into it he looked me in the eyes and sat down. I said I was in the house with you in killing distance. She never told you just who and what you were really dealing with. Ten years of training in Shotokan, a 2nd Kyu I could have killed them both with my hands. This recovery thing is so hard. We have not been intimate yet because I told her that I would never touch her again without a condom. She has to this day not told me if they had been have protected sex so we will whenever we do again. Help me please. [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img] [img]images/icons/mad.gif" border="0[/img]

Hi, <p>Welcome to MB. Your story is well more moving than a movie. Unfortunately too real. I am sorry you are here due to your situation but you have come to a good place that can help you. Many of us are dealing with A and the residual of it. <p>You probably don't want to do a lot of reading right now but eventually it will be helpful. Thank you for posting. Posting here helps us vent and put things back into perspective. <p>You are definitely more in control than most considering what you witnessed. Your W kicked you out knowing she was going to bring the OM into your home. Appears you were setup on false charges. Is she willing to drop those charges? <p>Depending on the state you are in your separation and D options should be reviewed. I am not encouraging you to use them just be aware of them. Remember your W may be willing to work with you because you caught her but unless she let's go of this A willinginly of her own accord, you could be dealing with an even angrier person later. violence begetting violence is not the answer to a problem. The OM should be indebted to you for not removing him from your home as an invader. <p>Here's some starters:
1. Read up and study about your options (separation/Divorce)
2. Get with a couselor - Steve Harley and Jennifer C offer phone counseling and they are very good. <p>3. Read the book surviving an affair and His needs/her needs. Another book Love must be tough by Dr James Dobson may come in handy later. <p>4. Understand that you may be going through shock. So pray for a calm heart and a clear mind. <p>5. Know that depression and anxiety attacks may set in later. Prepare yourself for this. <p>6. Here is the thread with a bunch of links to more helpful info: <p> http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=37&t=015609 <p>7. Get yourself checked by the doctor. <p>8. Keep posting here. General Questions II usually has more traffic but weekends are generally slower in getting responses. <p>9. If you feel you need to talk, there are many here who may be able to help. Either by e-mail, phone, ICQ. Many husband's here in similar situations and a few still in the military. <p>Take Care,
L.

Why me,<p>I am sorry for your pain, and I agree with Orchid on her solid advice to you. Let me give you a little bit extra.....<p>If I were you I would delete this post RIGHT NOW!!!<p>This is a public forum and ANYONE can get access to it, including the police.........you have said many threatening things here, and if anything ever happens to your wife or this man, and you happen to be innocent, this post will surely have you end up in the slammer.<p>Get it off! And stop thinking like a vet........you are not in the army now, and no matter what, you have no right to kill.<p>
Love and light,<p>Jacky

I have to second Nina's reply...<p>Delete your post...
...for your own safety!<p>Follow the links Orchid gave you...
...all of them!<p>You have my prayers on this.<p> [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Jim/NSR

Hi, <p>Please let us know how you are doing. k? <p>
L.

Hi, <p>Wonderin' how you are doing!?!?!?!?<p>L.

Listen and listen good. Get this post off the now. You need to back off for the sake of your son and your own emotional well being. You are not in the army anymore. Any chance that you have to gain custody will be thrown out the window with posts like this. If you must be your own PI and log everything, take pictures. Your son being home alone is very dangerous. How old is he?. I can tell you that you are not thinking clealy and you are certainly not thinking of the one person that needs you more then you know, your son.... Delete this post now.. and thats an order.... Don't ask just do it now.

I am very concerned about your level of anger. Yes, I wouldve been furious too, but would never consider some of what you mentioned. I think you need to talk to someone about taking medication for anxiety and a worshop on anger management. Keep cool for your child. He is innocent and needs you. And be careful, your wife or the OM could accuse you of stalking etc.<p>The OW my husband was involved with has a 3-4yr old boy. She got divorced from her H. Mine then filed against me. He was at her apartment lots & bought gifts for both her & son, no doubt lots of exposure to son as "mommy's friend". She has joint custody with ex. He is an army dude. He found out about my H & what they dont know is HE called ME!! He told his ex she could do the humpty dumpty on her own time but that when their son was with her, she better not expose him to my H. That if he caught my H there or heard of him from the son or someone else that H was there when the son was, that my H would get a steel toed army boot in the face or that he knew where my H could be found!!!
Soon after, my H came home ! Hmmm??<p>Anyway, her ex-H is doing fine. He has moved on with his life, and remains civil to his wife otherwise, since they share joint custody of the child.<p>You need to protect yourself. Just assume your marriage is over, but consult a lawyer over how the house thing could work. Consultatiosn are usually free. Get all the info. Dont give your wife any reason to fight for custody, thereby losing your son. You have to be a rationally CALM person who's decided you are "incompatible" and need to move on with your life. Ask your wife to move out of the house. She's who had the affair. Your son would be given to her for temporary custody, but if your'e ellibible fpr equal joint custody it should work out. Explore your legal options. Consult a number of attorneys. Later you could decide if you wanted to retain one of them. Pretend to yourself your wife is not there, and do fun things with your son.<p>You confirmed your suspicions. NO MORE driving around, please. I drove past OW's complex once, when H's truck was there overnight, the night he filed for Divorce. My attorney told me be careful & all I did was drive by. And we dont have kids. BE COOL! Let go of the military midset please! Talk to someone or read some books. Its not all psychobabble, I promise.

You need professional help. Your post was scary and threatening. You talked about killing your wife and the OM. You need help.

Maybe counseling is a good idea, but not because of what you said, but because you are hurt. If you were going to hurt either one of them, you probably already would have. You are a man trained to be in control when things go FUBAR. Now is one of those times for you to use that training. Keep calm and don't let your emotions rule you. <p>http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic&f=29&t=000940 <p>Try reading the link above, it may help. Worthatry has some good info... Hang tough.