Well my whole story is posted under"12 years for nothing". But just more and more things are adding up. We have been getting along better, he is wearing his wedding ring again, and we have made love a couple of times. But what he does not know is that I read his e-mail. and it says it all. he does still have contact with the OW and that he also had another affair a few months ago that went on for some time. Do I confront him, or just keep building my case. i did finally go to the doctor and he put me on some med's, thank god. i was going crazy.
i have been off work for 1 week now. i asked him if we could go out this friday and just hang out, and he said "i dont know"
after looking through the info i have I think he is still be going and seeing the OW. But with it being out of town I cant find out for sure.
We talked alot last week and I cant find anything since that time, like I said he put his ring back on and has been doing better. I still have not got a "I LOVE YOU" and he dosent give me goodbye kisses anymore.
So to my best of knowledge, i think he has been having an affair for the past 7 months, boy do I feel stupid. I am going to get tested for STD's tommorow.
I need help. I have a male friend that I use to date that Icould talk to about all this, but I am very worried about what could happen. He has been after me for 12 years and in fact I was with him about 12 years ago,
What do I do?

Dear Hope, <p>REally really? For right now, you are the one that needs to strengthen yourself. Yes, your H should be the one to be at your side now but he is not. In fact he is acting more like your worst enemy. That is how I felt. Still feel that way because the OW and WS have hurt me like no other person in the world. Felt like it was the devil himself when I had to deal with them. <p>So until he got his sense of reasoning back, I learned to back off. I learned here how to better myself. Hard to do but necesary. Also, I learned that I did not want to waste my time. For a while I was in mourning and shock. Bad combination but I had to wade through that. When I was strong enough to stand up on my own, I began with the help of many here to move forward. Learned a lot of plan A and B, picked out the parts I could work with and applied as best as I could. <p>The point is that I let him go and stopped meeting his needs. You know what? He really did need me. I was just getting the junk end of meeting his needs. I certainly felt better when I took myself out from being the doormat cinderella. Let the OW have all of him,.....dirty laundry and all. guess what? Neither of them like all of them. But I could not tell him that, he had to see that for himself. See 2 selfish people rarely get along for long. <p>L.

Please don't get too close to your 'friend.' You're in a vulnerable position and things could very easily get out of hand. I know how much you're hurting, I've been there. But don't let another person confuse things even more. Go to counseling alone if he won't go with you, and work on YOURSELF. Sometimes one person's progress can be enough to turn a marriage around. good luck