Wow! Today has been a really hard day. I keep breaking down....which is not a fun that while you are at the office!<p>I have tried a few times to call the OMW...no answer. Heck...if I have I'll drive over there and wait for her to leave or something. I'm not in a major hurry...she will find out soon enough.<p>Also...called the Doc, I am going in this week hopefully for some ADD. I was really against them when all this started, I thought I could be strong and deal with it. Today has been a good example that I can't, and if don't do something to get my emotions under control I am going to flip out!<p>thanks.<p>[ April 01, 2002: Message edited by: Jeeper ]</p>

Me again...<p>I think I may have messed up. I got ahold of the OMW. I told her my name, asked her if she has ever heard of me. Her reply was NO. I said that was too bad (I was really hoping the OM would have been a man by now and fessed up). I asked her if she has a few minutes to talk. She said she was on the other line and she would have to call me back. So, I figure either she thinks I am some freak, or maybe he was home and couldn't talk. How long should I give before I try her back? I should have told her it was very important and to get off the other line.<p>She sounded so nice...I really don't like having to do this. But, she has a right to now what her husband really is.

Jeeper,
Call her back and tell her this is IMPORTANT. You can do it.
Hang in there and pray.
I am praying for you right now!!!<p>SH

Dang! Called back...no answer again this time.<p>I will try again later. I know he gets off around 5-ish...I wanted to talk to her alone.

Keep trying, when you get in touch with her be very compationate and let her know ahead of time that what you are about to say will hurt and "I'm am very sorry" but we need to work together....<p>I'm still praying for you...<p>SH

well...called a few more times. I am giving up for today. I am sure I already look freakish in thier eyes.<p>I am guessing this guy has his W brainwashed as well...she may not want to hear from me. She knows my number and I could tell by the sound of her voice she may have been expecting something.<p>If she thinks about it awhile...she may call.

Update...<p>Wife just called. She was informing me that it is "offically" over the the OM. They will never see or speak to each other again. (we'll see)<p>She was crying and upset. I was trying to be as understanding as possible...but that's not to easy when she's crying because she misses her "soul mate" and not her husband.<p>Anyways...the call was not really very good. She was however very concerned about weather or not I have told the OMW. Apparently, he said something about my cell phone number being on thier caller ID. (hehehe)<p>Most of the remaining call was just details about the above.<p>Didn't really end that good either...she said that she was done talking about this and that she will talk to me sometime later. Of course, I had to ask what that meant, and she came back with she thinks she doesn't want to see me Thursday (we had dinner plans). I said, fine I understand. I asked about our couple session we have on Friday and she said she would call me friday morning and let me know. I asked her if she thought it would just be better if we had zero contact for the next three months. She really didn't say much about that..was kind of silent. I made some comment about that she shouldn't run from her problems, she came back with she doesn't and she is trying to learn to face them....I said I was one of her problems and it looks like you are running from me. (that was probably a LB)<p>Anyways...from where I sit, I think I should just leave her alone. If she chooses to show up to our couple session on Friday...great. If not...her loss.<p>I am getting run down with this. I think I need a few days break from talking with her. I need to find a second wind.

Jeeper,<p>The best for your W is to be with you but she could not see it that way. So just be availabe and do your own thing ... help around MB, there are so much hurt and tears around here that need your strength. I am slowing down @MB since I do not want my WW know that I am at MB. I even leave the history trail of divorcenet.com and delete MB's. I am done w/ working on M, now I am ready to move on. Even I am here to help others I do not want my WW think otherwise.<p>Sit tight and go see "Panic Room" ... I am going right now. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] -RH-

jeeper:<p>Boy, I just read this thread for the first time this evening. You have done amazingly well, considering the circumstances. Hang in there. If the A is truly over (and it sounds like your cell # showing up on their caller ID has put a dose of reality into this OM), your W will probably start realizing what a true fantasy it was and start thinking more about you and your M. I think you're doing the right thing with your plans for the C meeting Friday. If she shows, great, but if she doesn't, more power to you. <p>Take care.

Just wanted to give a brief update....<p>Still can't get ahold of the OMW. I think I will lay off for a few days and try again late this week. If I have to...I'll drive over there and hand my info to her myself.<p>[ April 03, 2002: Message edited by: Jeeper ]</p>

Jeepger,<p>
Do you have thet temp email address still?<p>Thanks - SW

Well...here is an update…<p>W and I meant with our “coach” on Friday evening. It was defiantly an uncomfortable situation. Overall I would say the meeting went well. I am really surprised she even showed. She did state that she wasn’t even sure if she should attend because she feels she has too many issues to work on within herself, before we can start talking “us”. <p>Our coach asked us to, one by one, tell how we are doing, what has transpired over the past few days, and what we expected to get out of this meeting. I went over everything that I listed above, including the key issue. He made note of the key issue, and said that we would return to that. As far as what I wanted to get out of the meeting…I told him I really didn’t know. My W stated about the same thing…except she had some issues about the cats and the furniture. He again, made note of that and said we would return to that. He asked me what kind of husband I wanted to be ….I answered his question, and he stated that, that was great and I will be a great husband to Theresa, and if not her, the next woman would be very lucky. He went round and round with questions like to this to both of us. I don’t even remember all of them now. I look back on it…and it almost seems like a dream. I think I have started to grow numb to all this!<p>He did get back to the key issue, and I just stated that I was looking for the key as a sign of “trust”. She did agree to give me one….but now I really don’t care. It doesn’t mean much when she had to almost be forced to give me one. As far as her concern for the furniture…I told them why I was not happy with giving up furniture out of the house….my life has been screwed up enough over the past few weeks, and the last thing I want is to come home to a half empty house. I told her we could talk about it, and maybe I would pay for half of some rental furniture. We were supposed to get together last night to talk about it…but my plans Sunday ran over and I wasn’t able to make it back in town on time. So, we didn’t talk. She did leave a message wondering where I was…but it was late before I got home and I didn’t want to call her back at that late hour. I will leave her a message today and tell her maybe we can hook up sometime this week. She also wants to take the cats with her, and I guess I don’t have a problem with that. If it will make her stay in the apartment more comfortable…I am all for it.<p>I really almost hate being around her. All my emotions come to a boil at once when I see or talk to her. Some seconds I want to punch her in the face and the next I want to hug her. All these emotions suck!<p>[ April 08, 2002: Message edited by: Jeeper ]</p>