As I approach the 24th of this month(one month anniversary of when I found out), things are getting difficult. 1 month ago, My wife came upstairs from our basement office, and said she was going to work to talk to a co-worker. I went downstairs to smoke a cigerette later, and the computer had been left open to her personal E-mail(Yahoo), She had started to write a letter, but stopped and left it open, I went to her INBOX, and there were a buch of letters in thier from OM. My wife was a counselor for a Dual Diognosis Housing Program, and OM was a resident. I found letters that dated back to the 2nd of February, and that was the 24th. But on the second they were more like thank you letters and friendship letters, and the letters progressed through the month they got more intimate. They talked of Hugging and Kissing, and wanting to go for long walks together. She commented on how much OM understands her, and that I did not. She even stated that sometime she thought she was just too intelligent for me. But the hardest thing to read was a comment that he would be great to our daughter. My W and I have only been Married for less than two years. and I never saw this coming until after I saw it. She made statements of seeing him on trips to the store, and I realized just how willing she was to leave the house to go on short grocery or cigerette runs. Because she would stop to see him. After confronting her, She lied, nad continued to lie until I proved her lies wrong. The only thing I could not prove was weather she had sex with him or not. My W is 22, and the OM was 40. I can see where he was coming from but I find it hard to see what she saw in a recovering Alchoholic, with a Mental Illness, and a Gambling Problem.
Well after confronting her, I demanded that she choose me or him. and if she chose me, then she would take a leave of absence from work, until he was out of the program, and gone. When she did this, and told them the reason why, they Termintated her. This I was actually glad of, for selfish reasons, but also because it would have made it more difficult if she chose to continue the affair. On the same day she told work, she said she told him it was over, and she said that it was real easy to do, she did it witout remorse or regret. Almost a month has passed since then, and she has a much better job,(out of town) and our relationship has been making possitive strides. But yesturday she calles me and says she has a meeting, and that she would be late, the day before she was late coming home. Now she hasen't been really late, about an hour, but I find my mind thinking things and bringing me back to an insecurity. Another thing is Yesturday he wrote her again. I know her password, and I looked at it. I read the e-mail but all it was was a reply of a message she wrote him nearly a month ago, and nothing was added to it by him. I left the message unread and left her E-mail. SHe had no way of knowing I read it. Later that night, she told me he wrote on her own accord, and she stated that there was nothing in the message that he wrote. It was just an empty reply. I was glad she was honest with me, and I felt bad that I snooped, and kept it from her. But I find myself more able to trust if I am looking and watching her and I find no evidence of an affair, than if I am not looking and find nothing. How long does this feeling last. Will I ever be able to trust my wife again?
