I guess I am at the Why Me stage this morning. I called my H office only to have his secretary answer the phone. Before this whole mess she was always so nice to me. This morning when I left a message she barely spoke on the phone to me. Another stab at my heart. So I am wondering, what did I do to deserve this? I have only been a girl scout leader for 12 years, a helper at boy scouts, a devoted mother, and YES a devoted wife, yes, things have been different between us this last year but did I deserve this.<BR>I stayed at home and took care of the kids, drove them to all their things so he could work and build his career for us. Now that he is the boss, where am I, no where. I don't know my future, do I get a job, not get a job, think of a career, I am in a complete state of limbo.<BR>I was feeling pretty good this morning. Husband kissed me good bye last night and called me baby, he told me to save him a seat at a conert tonight. So I get up and try to get in the christmas spirit and bam, call work to leave a message and get treated like dirt. I am still his wife, I did not cheat on him, I am the mother of his children, dont I deserve some respect! <BR>Sorry Guys, it is a Monday. Weekends are bad for me, he did not invite me to his chirstmas party for work either, but the O/W would be there and I would be in jail this morning for murder.<BR>So when does the pain stop, can we go forward with or without our S.<BR>You wiser than wise folks out there, what is your opinion?<BR>

No answers, but I know how you feel. I was really stuck in the Why me's this morning. My H's mother now talks to me as your H's secretary. Kind of like - why are YOU calling? and like you, I want to say BECAUSE I'M THE WIFE AND I CAN!! Anyway, good luck at the concert. Be strong and don't let him see you sweat! I'll pray for you!

It is Mon. plus when we feel the way we do we think everyone is against us. I. She may have had a crappy weekend (the Sec.) and is in a bad mood, 2. She could be having PMS. 3. You H her boss could have just yelled at her. 4. She could have found out her H is having an affair. 5. She had her wisdom teeth pulled this morning. 6. She was busy. 7. She just spilled coffee all over important papers. of course 8 she is OW best friend and no everything. 9. She knows and is embarassed to talk to you. I what I am trying to say is that because she is your H sec. and the OW is a ow doesn't mean she is treats you bad because of it. Chances are she doesn't know about it. Or doesn't know how to deal with it. or any of the above reaseon. I know when we are going through this and we aren't the one having the affair, we feel like everyone is pointing there finger at us and ....... I still find it hard to talk to my old friends and I avoid them. Not that they haven't been supportive but I just can't deal with it. And if someone says something wrong or makes us feel bad we jump to the conclusion they are on our H side. This is one of those thing you have to let go and say she(sec.) is having a bad day. You have too many other things to deal with then to let this get you down.<P>------------------<BR>di<P>

thanks for replying. I am glad i check on line before I got off.<BR>This has been the longest 2 1/2 months for me and the kids.<BR>I know this is hard for everyone here because of the holidays. I keep thinking maybe the holidays will wake these betrayers up and see what they are doing to their family, friends and theirselves.<BR>I want to yell Why Me!!!!!!!!!!!! <BR>Lets all buy coal and put it in our S stockings.<BR>As the great Sarlett O'hara said "tomorrow is another day" and it is not a Monday to boot.<P>

You aren't alone. I stopped by my H's office on Friday and he was in a group talking. They all turned to look at me. Most of them darted their eyes away (you know the "leper" feeling). A couple said the too-friendly "Gee I haven't see YOU in a long time" or "HOW are you."<P>"I'M GUH-REAT THANKS FOR ASKING!" Big smile. I wanted to find a nice tower to shoot from. (No not really, just frustrated.)<P>Keep your head up. You/We are very sensitive. You don't deserve judgement so you can ignore it.<P>------------------<BR>Lor<BR>"Do not get tired of doing what is right, for after awhile you will reap a harvest of blessings if you do not get discouraged and give up. (Gal 6:9)<P><BR>

I posted before I read SDS's reply, I love the "found out her H had a affair one" that is funny because her H is a minister. But the one that fits it best is she is friends with the O/W and I am sure knows everything. Thanks for replying it made me laugh! I needed a laugh.