I just can't seem to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I think I'm falling into a depression. My H said I should call the doctor today. I don't even want to get out of bed but I do. I go to work, then the gym when I get home I shower and get in my pj's (this is all by 4pm). Then I start to cry. I feel like I can't take it anymore. Yesterday I made it a point not to get in my pj's after the shower. So we went out to eat for supper and ran into the OW's boss, he came over and was saying how the company lost a good worker when my H left etc. If my son wasn't there I might have told him what a whore he has working for him. Anyway seeing him reminded me and I also keep thinking did this guy know? Does he know now? Needless to say I was depressed all night. I'm at work again and just can't get going. Should I see about medication? I really didn't want to but I'm tired of being tired and down. Is it normal to go on anti-depressants for this?

Dear Strongerthanyesterday,<p>I am so sorry that you are feeling so blue - but I can relate as I'm sure can so many others. I personally haven't gone on anti-depressants, but that doesn't mean that they can't be helpful. What have you got to lose? You may be doing these things already, but I found it very helpful to keep a journal. The only time I could write was after my kids were in bed, and many nights I was up until 2-4am, but it helped to exorcise the demons. I also wrote LOTS of letters to my H and OW. Many I didn't send but some were just too good to keep to myself and they did give me some sense of empowerment. I also bought the NY Times Bestseller "Self Matters" by Dr. Phil McGraw (Dr. Phil from Oprah). It is a book designed to help you discover your true authentic self and the discovery process has been very helpful to me. In fact, my WH bought his own copy and has made a lot of self discoveries of why he behaves the way he does. I am also getting counselling although I must admit the "Self Matters Book" and counselling with Dr. Harley have been much more helpful.<p>Prayer is also helpful. I am now being more selfish with my time, since he took advantage of me and kept me down for 5 years. I have tried some new things including rock climbing and am planning my own trip to a spa this fall. I just take it one moment at a time (one day at a time just seems so overwhelming right now).<p>Hang in there. Take care of yourself. It's excellent that you are getting to the gym. Sometimes the best revenge is living well. Please know we care a lot about you. Write back and let me know how you are doing today.

Yes get some anti-depressants!! W moved out 4 weeks ago and wants a divorce.<p>Like you I and doing my regular routine (going to work, taking care of our 7 yr twins (D & S) working out, taking care of the house getting the kids to soccer practice, etc. <p>But I would have moments during the day (several initally) where I would cry...because I missed her, something reminded me of her, etc.<p>I've been taking Paxil for 3 weeks (1st week 10mg/day, last 2 weeks 20mg/day and now on 40 mg/day. Since I've gone to 40mg/day I "feel" better. My crying sessions have decreased in frequency and duration and I'm not missing her as much.<p>I think the meds have helped me move forward (a little) and I think they may help you. Talk with your doctor about it (That's what I did, plus a friend is a pysch nurse and he recommend that I take meds) Just don't go off it when you start feeling better. <p>Now if I could only get a good nights sleep!!!

Thanks for the replies.<p>I'm doing better than this morning. I've been talking to some friends...laughing alittle. Also my H just called to see how I was. I'm going to make it a point of thinking of the positives. Like that my H chose to stay with me & that he loves me & that he is doing his best to meet my needs & I'm really a strong person for deciding to stay & that I have all of you to help and understand. Most important God has his reason why I'm going through this. <p>I am going to try to do this without meds. I just have to keep remember the good things.<p>wish me luck

STY,<p>I also recommend the meds. If you find yourself getting really down again, I suggest you see your Dr. and get a prescription. You don't have to start taking them, but you will have them if things get overwhelming. I also have been taking Paxil. I don't think it makes me feel great, but it does help so you don't have the low lows. That allows you to deal with the changing emotions you will continue to feel for a while -- the rollercoaster is still there.<p>I'm glad you are doing better today. If you change your mind about the meds, remember that they take several weeks to kick in, so you will not feel better right away -- it took about 3 weeks for me.<p>FHO