Hi All,<p>Well it has been a long 7 days but alas I believe a lot has been accomplished during this brief time than has been accomplished in the past 3 years. <p>I for one have learned things about the woman I THOUGHT I knew, and I think she has about me also. Since DD we have exhausted ourselves and expressed so many different feelings and Felt those feelings that we were literally dazed. We started to step back a bit, and although the AMOUNT we talked decreased the INTENSITY was still there.<p>All wasnt roses,, however during those times we used the issues as soil for the Roses. I can tell by her actions and hope she by mine that we both WANT this marriage to work. Although I havent forgotten at all the feelings the A has brought out. I definetly think the thing that helps the most is the fact that we know we still Love each other. And in trying to get back IN Love with each other is the thing that is overshadowing a lot of the pain and hurt. Its a nice band aide. <p>Long way to go,, but nice to be on the road.

Boy can I identify with your post! Today marks 7 days since I found out about his EA, and I'm just exhausted. We both agree that we love each other, want to be together, and most of the time, we're actually *in love*. But this rollercoaster of emotions is just wearing me out. He's working very hard, and usually I appreciate it. But sometimes, I just want to make him hurt as much as I did/do. Doing the Emotional Needs questionnaire was really an eye opener (how can we have been together 7 years and not known some of this stuff!!?) We were supposed to do the LoveBusters q this weekend, and life got in the way. Oddly enough, most of that life involved really, really great sex. I am not sure what that's all about, but if it wasn't for the hideous emotional upheaval, we've had the best physical relationship in the last week we've had in years.<p>Anyway - it's good to hear from someone at the same place I am in so many ways.<p>Kate

Yes it is amazing in hindsite all the wonderful things we have been cheating each other out of for so long and almost embarrassing that we had sunk soooo low.<p>It is hard not to notice the work that BOTH of us are now contrubuting. Not necessarily EZ work but well worth it just in the Fringe benefits.<p>We have not made it to actually having sex yet though everyday through communication and shariing our lives instead of guarding them from each other we are feeling more and more drawn to each other emotionally and physically.<p>She worries a bit I might think of the OM while in the midst of passion, however, the more and more connected I feel to her the more he slides out f my mind and I dont picture them together I just want US to be as one. <p>This as anything is also hard, but is becoming easier with the understanding. Plus unlike a LONG affair this was rather short and I think it aids in the healing of it trying to think of it as being more of a cry for help to save our lives together than anything else. <p>I guess whatever helps the healing process I will try to embrace. I now look forward to coming home and being with her and talking with her and not just talking about work either.<p>Good luck and let me know how it goes. And the different things U are trying to help get U over.